Being Nikki: Christopher's POV .
Posted 29 March 2013 - 02:58 PM
Glow in the dark dinosaur stickers - why glow in the dark dinosaur stickers. Where had I heard that phrase before? Why did it seem so important for me to remember who`s mouth those words had come out of? Why had I spent days and days of my life absorbed in thought, in vain? Why cant I remember anything? No that cant be true. Is it possible its just a coincidence?
I didn't want to leave my room. I needed to escape my room. The nightmares were back and worse than ever. I couldn't face the outside world, I couldn't face myself. The new nightmares are much worse than the first ones. The plasma screen falling so so slowly downward, always downward, out of reach, always out of reach, slow yet to fast for anything to be changeable. Needless to say my life was still not exactly perfect.
I got up. I sat back down. I paced around the room. I stared at the ceiling and I thought, remembered, forcing my eyes open fighting away sleep. Em was never coming back, that was for sure. If I knew this why couldn't I live? Why couldn't I allow myself to live because Em was unable to. I had done this, thought this, screamed this, dreamed this yet so many unanswered questions.
I got dressed regretfully, staring at Em`s picture, I missed her so much it hurt every second of the day. I put my jacket on, wishing I could go back in time. I climbed down the stairs, every step one too many. I opened the door, leaving my home, my safety net.
I somehow found the outside of my apartment. I heard someone sobbing. I turned to see Nikki Howard.
Posted 29 March 2013 - 03:17 PM
Posted 29 March 2013 - 05:48 PM
Posted 30 March 2013 - 06:49 PM
Edited by Saddy_mavka, 30 March 2013 - 06:50 PM.
Posted 31 March 2013 - 08:28 AM
Posted 01 April 2013 - 03:56 PM
Chapter 1 - The idea of a good person representing something bad - but why did you invite her in your apartment?
"Nikki?" I inquired, despite the fact I was positive it was her. She was soaking wet, I then realised so was I. She was accompanied by her faithful companion - a ridiculous miniature poodle, like model - like poodle. Along with all this Nikki Howard had been crying her eyes out, under her designer sunglasses.
"Hey, hows it going?" I asked attempting to cheer her up, inevitably my attempt was in vain. I wondered for a moment what Nikki Howard was doing outside my apartment and was about to ask, but it didn't seem an appropriate question to ask someone in tears. Why did I, of all people, care about Nikki Howards feelings after what she, or rather her company did? Stark are pure evil, yet I have begun to realize this didn't necessarily mean Nikki Howard was to. Was it possible Nikki Howard, was in fact a good person merely representing something that was bad?
" Cold out today, huh?" I questioned, with one last attempt to cheer her up. I let my thoughts wonder, they seemed to fixate on a single image. Glow in the dark dinosaur stickers. So insignificant, yet so significant. Nikki Howard not speaking, to me, a few days ago this would have been a good thing, a relieving thing. She was obviously deeply unhappy and something tells me that although she is a brainless supermodel, she was crying for a worthy reason, worthy enough for me not to pry.
"Um, yeah." She stuttered, still obviously fighting the tears behind her sunglasses. She seemed to be staring at my lips, creepy.
"Were you shopping or something around here?" I inquired puzzledly as I wondered what Nikki Howard was doing here. Only people who lived in the appartments came anywhere near them, inevitably Nikki Howard was not one of these people. Why she was here may be associated with why she was in tears, I quietly wondered.
" Yeah." She said after a while of staring at me. "Yeah, I was but it's sleeting so badly and there were no cabs." She explained continuing our conversation, finally contributing something more than the word "yeah". No cabs, for the great Nikki Howard, now that was a shame - kind of unbelievable, but I decided to let this one go over my head.
"And you didn't think to bring an umbrella when you went out," I remarked slightly mocking her. " Just like me." I added without really thinking. She was staring at my hands now, was it possible Nikki Howard had gone completely mad, yes entirely possible. I decided on this one occasion I would be kind to her, considering her tears - when did I become such a jerk? Right about when my bestfriend died, I answered myself mentally.
" Would you like to borrow one, I mean I do actually own one." I asked, offering her my umbrella knowing I would not be attempting to go for my run. Maybe her stupidity was contagious and that was why I hadn't realized it was raining, until I was soaked.
" One what?" She asked, maybe she wasn't stupid but I was pretty sure she was mad. She seemed to be in her own little world, it wasn't the most positive world if her tears were anything to go by. Meanwhile her stupid poodle seemed to be fitting it was shivering so much. However ridiculous her poodle may be it was admittedly rather cute pretty much like Nikki herself - I was so not thinking that.
" I think there`s something wrong with your dog." Was my smart reply completely ignoring her pointless question. What happened next almost caused me to blurt out laughing, I resisted the temptation, purely to be polite. Maybe I wasn't such a jerk after all.
" Oh, Cosy you're freezing," She cried and immediately started fussing over her dog. She tended to her in such a way that I knew one thing for sure - Nikki Howard loved that dog. That was the moment I began to think of Nikki Howard as a potential friend and ally, despite the fact she was a Stark supermodel.
" Why don't you come up and I will get you an umbrella, whilst you and your dog defrost for a moment, before you have to go back outside?" I offered almost reluctantly, almost.
Authors Note: Sorry its short but I'm quite tired and have been busy. I have decided to drag this scene out for a couple of chapters so Christopher can analyze Nikkis behavior. I find the scenes from the actual book a lot harder than the ones I made up myself. I have kind of overused dashes in this chapter so sorry for that as well as the delay between this update and the last one. I just hope you will continue reading because your comments are what I live for and I hope you enjoy my writing.
Posted 02 April 2013 - 10:27 AM
Posted 02 April 2013 - 11:44 AM
Chapter 2 (Part 1)- How did Felix get in?
" I guess, thanks." She replied, ungrateful supermodel, I started to think about what a spoilt child she must have been. She seemed afraid of the doorman - afraid of the door man, she sure seemed mad.
"So you don't really go everywhere in a limo, do you?" I asked slightly mockingly.
"Um no." Was her smart reply.
" Yeah, I figured the rumors were bull." I said trying to sound interested but I had, had more interesting conversations with a door knob. I hadn't had any interesting conversations since the accident. She stared at me as we went up in the elevator.
" It`s to the right." I informed her, gesturing towards my apartment. I opened the door for her as if she was one of the commanders guests, she seemed surprised, maybe I had misjudged the situation.
" Its right here." I directed her as I opened the door to my apartment.
" Here, let me take your coat." I offered trying to make up for my awful manners earlier. She seemed happier than earlier, that seemed to relieve me, maybe we were friends. Something inside me told me she wasn't responsible for Ems death. Before she took off her coat she sorted out her dog, I had to stifle a laugh, she did love that dog.
" Take a seat, would you like tea or hot chocolate or something? " I inquired, hoping that if I was a good friend to Nikki, maybe that would make up for what a pathetic friend I was to Em and all so she wouldn't know about my true feelings, something told me she would be flattered and wouldn't really mind, much.
" Uh, some tea would be great. Could I use your bathroom for a moment?" She asked politely, subsequently I led her to the bathroom, she seemed oddly familiar with my flat, another fact I ignored.
She was in my bathroom for a long time, long enough for me to realize someone else other than Nikki was present. I approached my room, opened the door and to my utter surprise Felix was there. He sat there on my computer, looking at images of guess who, Nikki Howard of course.
" I don't want to know how you got in here, let alone how you managed to leave your basement." I told him, he seemed surprised to see me.
" No hello for your favourite cousin, though you are right you really don't want to know how I got in." He replied cheerfully, looking at images of Nikki wearing a pink bikini.
" Well no time for chatting, I was not up here, all you need to know is Nikki Howard is in the bathroom and I will bring her up here if you're quiet. Bye." I quickly informed him.
" But, " He began before the slamming of the door cut him off .
Posted 04 April 2013 - 10:53 AM
Chapter 2 ( Part 2 ) Why are you crying?
I quickly ran back to the front room, hoping Nikki hadn't noticed I was gone and was still in the bathroom. Fortunatly for me, Nikki remained in the bathroom, I wondered what she was doing in there. Maybe Nikki would be able to help us, work from the inside to destroy Stark. No we could expect Nikki to do that - could we? Meanwhile Felix ran for the bathroom . I caught him just as he approached the door.
" What are you doing? " I asked him angrily.
" Just one glimpse of Nikki Howard before I have to leave." He begged.
" If you go now I will skype you, with Nikki." I negotiated stupidly.
" Thank you so much." He squealed and flung his arms around me. I pushed his off and he pranced out the door.
I returned to the front room just as Nikki came out of the bathroom. She sat down on the sofa, whilst I made myself coffee and her mint tea. I debated with myself whether to confront her regarding the reason for her tears. I decided that I would ask her, but politely.
" So why were you crying down there anyway?" I inquired as I handed her, her cup of tea.
Authors Note: I needed to end this chapter this way, the same way it chapter nine ends in the book. I am starting chapter three as soon as I can, I hope you like both part one and two of chapter two.
Posted 06 April 2013 - 03:40 AM
Thanks I will update either today or tomorrow.
Wow!! Those 2 chapters are AMAZING!!!
Posted 08 April 2013 - 03:33 PM
Chapter 3 ( Part One)
" I wasn't crying." She protested, obviously lying, you could see it in her eyes.
" Yes you were." I argued, wondering if anyone else had ever dared to argue with Nikki Howard, ever. I sat down and beside me sat her dog, I resisted the temptation to stroke it, the dog was admittedly immensely cute.
" I mean , I guess you could try to say that your eyes were just watering with the cold. But it looked pretty obvious to me that you were crying." I continued. Nikki was actually speechless.
" You don't have to tell me if you don't want to, of course. But I don't see what you have got to lose. I don't know anybody you know, so its not like I'm going to tell anyone." I explained as Nikki seemed to be judging whether to confide in me. She looked so afraid when her eyes gazed around the apartment, looking for something clearly inexistent. I continued to sip my coffee anxiously.
" My dad`s at his office right now." I reassured her before babbling something about the commanders students. Nikki continued to sit there deep in thought.
"Oh." Was her final response to my inquiries.
Authors Note: Yes this is one day late, - I`m sorry, I am also sorry that its so short. but I have been quite busy and I trust you will understand that. As always I will update as soon as I can.
Posted 09 April 2013 - 01:51 AM
Posted 09 April 2013 - 11:32 AM
Posted 12 April 2013 - 04:46 PM
Chapter 2 ( Part two) Maybe Nikki Howard is human
" It`s just," She began uncertainly, probably debating whether to confide in me. She went quiet again, she began to start sweating, her dog began staring at her. She looked deeply troubled, her eyes looked almost as desperate as my own had merely weeks ago. Nikki Howard, for once in her life looked remarkable human, not like a doll, not the perfect human. Just as Freda had stated in a time that seemed many years ago, " Just a normal girl ", who was admittedly beautiful and a world famous celebrity, but nevertheless she was a normal human being.
" It`s just ," She repeated, looking completely helpless. She didn't just look normal, she looked and seemed in every aspect a child. She seemed to had undergone some sort of personality transplant. I wasn't going to push anything out of her, I was almost afraid of what I would find. I felt a strong urge to comfort her, but I didn't know quite how and common sense told me that anything could potentially break Nikki at this point.
" I got some bad news today." She finally finished, an inadequate response when you consider how long it took her to even tell me that. Bad news could be anything, a sick poodle, a stolen dress, a lost tube of lipgloss ( she is a model) or someone dying, how am I supposed to know? All this escaped my mind, when I looked up and observed how vulnerable Nikki Howard looked I knew that I could push information out of her. I knew all too much about having, despair, dread and depression as your only companions .
" Really? " I spoke, hoping my concern would come across in that mere word. It seemed to be the only thing I was capable of saying. She looked like she would rather be talking about anything but the reason for her tears, she seemed to regret speaking to me. I was anything but offended by this, I myself wondered why me and Nikki had ever spoken to each other, I had to admit I was worried about her.
" My mum`s missing." She blurted out.
Authors Note: Sorry again for the late update, as well as the fact I couldn't help but write mum out of habit.
Posted 12 April 2013 - 04:51 PM
is meant to be Chapter 3 ( part 2).
Chapter 2 ( part 2)
Posted 13 April 2013 - 05:38 AM
That's just an opinion, you dont have to, I don't mind.
Also, am I the only one in this thing besides you??
Posted 13 April 2013 - 05:47 AM
Posted 14 April 2013 - 12:45 PM
Chapter 4 - It makes sense, maybe.
" Your mum`s missing? " I repeated, it had never occurred to me that Nikki Howard, like any human being, must have a mother of some sort. Needless to say I was shocked at the fact Nikki was so distraught at that fact and if she was so upset, why was she wasting her time shopping, instead of doing anything productive?
I missed my own mother so much at that moment, what would she make of me at this moment? Would she be as detached as the Commander, could she help? When was the last time I had seen her as well as my sister Clarissa? Nothing was arranged, she wanted me to live with her, but I couldn't leave the commander alone, with no trace of family. Clarissa wanted to live with her and a part of me wanted to live with them to, but I didn't want to have to try to play happy families with them. The divorce changed my life, almost as much as the accident did. I didn't want to have to think about what might have been if the divorce had never happened, living in a big happy family, no Em, no grief, yet remaining friendless.
" We're not close, she`s, uh - " She began to explain carefully, " Been missing for quite a while, but I only just found out - we don't talk that much." She finished, looking guilty, perhaps because she regretted the fact, or maybe because she was embarrassed to have to talk about her family with me of all people.
I say me of all people, but as I have begun to realise besides our obvious differences, we do have a number of things in common - neither of us are close to are mothers. I thought about the fact my mother only rings on my birthday and at Christmas, the fact I have no idea where her and Clarissa live. What was it like for Nikki, what were her reasons for her distance from her mother? I began stroking her poodle slowly, trying to calm myself down and give her some decent advice, if me and Nikki were friends, I had a duty to help her find her mother.
" How long has she been missing? " I inquired, in a tone a little harder than intended. I had to at least show some sort of compassion as well as practicality and common sense if I was going to help her, in any way. She seemed to be having difficulty trying to remember the answer to such a way that reminded me of somebody else. I suddenly realised that person was somebody who no longer existed.
" A couple of months - maybe three." She replied, she seemed both surprised and confused, I wondered what the reason for her confusion was. Didn't she expect me to be sympathetic or did she think I wasn't being sympathetic at all. Three months, Nikki Howards mother had been missing ever since the accident. Why, maybe that was just too much of a coincidence, like the fact Nikki Howard plays journey quest and the fact I knew glow in the dark dinosaur stickers meant something.
" Right around the time before the accident." I whispered under my breath. Had Stark planned the accident? Maybe Nikki Howards mother knew something and Stark had destroyed her, or maybe I had just become paranoid. Instead of asking any of these questions, I said one phrase.
"It makes sense."
Authors Note: A longer update, but quite a short chapter. I may not be able to update in a while.
Posted 15 April 2013 - 01:35 AM
Keep at it
Posted 15 April 2013 - 11:27 AM
Posted 17 April 2013 - 11:15 AM
Posted 18 April 2013 - 11:27 AM
Posted 19 April 2013 - 05:09 PM
Chapter 5 - Confused
"Excuse me?" She exclaimed, raising her eyebrows.
I then snapped out of my trance. I did not need another reason to hate Stark or another fact to reinforce my argument on how evil Stark was. Though it would still figure that Nikki`s mother or even Nikki might know something about the accident if anyone did. I couldn't help but want to believe that Nikki held some vital knowledge and was not half as stupid as I had first believed. A part of me knew, no hoped that Nikki Howards mother knew something, I knew I had to help Nikki.
" What have you done to try to find her?" I inquired wondering if Nikki had any ideas regarding her mother's disappearance. If her face was anything to go by, I doubted she had. Nikki somehow seemed almost as if she had removed herself from the situation, looking as if she was watching someone elses life go by - everyone has their own ways of dealing with grief. I didn't feel it was my place to question her.
" Has anyone filled out a missing persons report? " I continued to ask, although I knew that Nikki looked as if she barely took in any facts regarding this particular subject. I wondered what I would do if anyone brought up my mother, let alone receiving the news she was missing.
" Yeah. I guess." She muttered confusedly. I was becoming frustrated at the fact Nikki Howard could babble on aimlessly for literally hours on end, but when you actually had a serious conversation with her, she seemed incapable of providing an answer longer than three words. Any complaints I wanted to make, if said would make me a hypocrite, not being the greatest conversationalist myself, especially recently. The thing about Nikki Howard is there seemed to be two sides to her and that in itself was immensely confusing.
" You guess? " I inquired further into her less than adequate answer. Suddenly becoming rather frustrated, but hoping I could hide my frustration from Nikki. She was glaring at me as if I was mad - maybe I was.
" Well, my brother`s the one looking into it ,really. All I've done if call my cell phone service provider. To see if she called and maybe I missed it-." She finally explained, sounding as if she was someone else, someone familiar, just not Nikki Howard. For her sake I hoped Nikki Howards brother was nothing like her, otherwise it would be years before we even knew whether Nikki had received any phone calls, let alone the location of Nikki`s mother. I began to shake my head.
" It could take months before they get back to you with that information." I informed her.
" I know. But what else can I do? " She muttered sadly. I then realised just how helpless Nikki had become, I could have answered her question in many ways, but I call I could manage to do was resist my sudden urge to comfort her. For a moment there was silence and we were both deep in thought.
Posted 20 April 2013 - 03:15 AM
Posted 20 April 2013 - 06:44 AM
Posted 26 April 2013 - 04:06 PM
Posted 28 April 2013 - 05:07 AM
So I've started reading this, and I just wanted to say that it's really good and you're brilliant at writing in Christopher's P.O.V.
Update when you can!
Posted 28 April 2013 - 12:40 PM
Thank you, I will update when life isn't so busy.
So I've started reading this, and I just wanted to say that it's really good and you're brilliant at writing in Christopher's P.O.V.
Update when you can!
Posted 04 May 2013 - 05:03 PM
Posted 05 May 2013 - 06:09 AM
Posted 06 May 2013 - 01:52 PM
Chapter 6 - Part One - Becoming a Good Person
The silence lasted for a while though as usual I was the one to break it, with my usual "sensible" advice. I regretted opening my mouth immediately after I had spoken it was not as if I had said anything especially ridiculous or even embarrassing. Obviously the reason I give advice, is to help, although Nikki seems to be completely oblivious to that fact judging by her facial expression. But mentioning Mckayla may not have been the wisest move, at least if I didn't want to remember anything that had happened just over a month ago.
" Mckayla Donofrio`s father is with the office of the Attorney General, maybe he could do something for your mum." I said, hoping she didn't realise I was slightly frightened of Mckayla.
Wait, since when was I frightened of Mckayla, I mean she is irritating, spooky and slightly psychotic, but since when had she frightened me of all people. Oh, I remember, since Mckayla got it into her self absorbed mind that me, yes me, liked her - no loved her.
I mean, my best friend and love of my life, (not that anyone but Felix knows that) died and all she could do was ask me about homework. The only person whom Mckayla loves is herself. Needless to say I was neither sad nor guilty, I avoided her like the plague. Since Em died, I had changed, I cannot feel simple human emotions, or so I thought. Yet could I have guessed that Em would be dead before, I could even give her a hint about the way I felt. I had come to realise that us humans think we know so much, yet we know so little of what truly matters.
To my utter delight, when I finally remembered she was there, Nikki didn't seem to have liked the mention of Mckayla, judging by the look on her face. Had Nikki really seen Mckayla for the boasting creep that she is or was she just worried about her mother. Both would be entirely reasonable, but the latter more believable and the former more appealing.
Despite her initial reaction, Nikki had returned to her previous worried expression. She seemed to be far away and I of all people know only too well what happens if you let worry and grief consume you. I knew that as I friend it was my duty to help her and as a person I needed to do something positive, to become a better person. Em may have been taken from me, but I wasn't going to let stark take anything else from me or anyone else for that matter.
"Hey." I whispered softly, I placed my arm on her shoulder as gently as I could, she snapped out of her trance, practically jumping out of her skin.
"Are you alright?" I inquired, I knew the answer, just by looking at her. Nikki despite being a supermodel, supermodels known for being emotionless puppets with only ambition and hunger for success, Nikki had a kind face, her tears were not robotic - they were genuine.
Nikki`s pain was easy to recognise and I realised I had been wrong about her, she was completely and utterly human, although she resembled a barbie doll. That was when I realised that if I was going to be so genuinely kind to her, maybe, just maybe she would cooperate - help Felix and I destroy Stark from the inside.
But wasn't I trying to be a good friend? Who knows I might be helping Nikki by destroying Stark, if what I suspected turned out to be true. I had to focus on the two main purposes of my life, to avenge Em`s death and to become a good person, who knows I might actually succeed.
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