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Things 1-800 Characters Would Never Say


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#1 IBelieve

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Posted 31 December 2006 - 10:04 PM

Post and make up dialouge of things that you think 1-800 characters would never say.
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#2 Mediatorgrrl

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Posted 31 December 2006 - 11:55 PM

Well, up until recently, I NEVER thought I'd hear Jess volunteer to bake ANYTHING! :P
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#3 Alone and Forgotten

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Posted 01 January 2007 - 09:09 PM

I was hoping when I came on here, I'd see this thread. :D

Jess: Rob, are you ever going to tell me what you're on probation for?
Rob: Fine, Jess, I'll tell you. I'm on probation because I was stalking you. I love you, I couldn't help it. And I would have got off easy, but I had planned to capture you and make you mine. But the police caught me.
Jess: :o

It sucks, but it's all I've got.
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#4 ~*fRaNz3*~

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Posted 02 January 2007 - 06:17 AM

I was hoping when I came on here, I'd see this thread. :D

Jess: Rob, are you ever going to tell me what you're on probation for?
Rob: Fine, Jess, I'll tell you. I'm on probation because I was stalking you. I love you, I couldn't help it. And I would have got off easy, but I had planned to capture you and make you mine. But the police caught me.
Jess: :o

It sucks, but it's all I've got.



no....lol, it doesnt suck....well, to me, it doesnt, and i kinda like it.....
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#5 Evil Child

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Posted 03 January 2007 - 07:03 PM

I'm so glad to see that this board is living it up here and I will do more post because I just haven't been recently which is really a shame and by the why I loved it.
Love ya Claire
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#6 winkwinky

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Posted 05 January 2007 - 12:18 PM

This one is very short and stupid, but its all i've got

Jess:I hate you Rob and I always will!!
Rob: :icon_mecry2:
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#7 Evil Child

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Posted 05 January 2007 - 02:08 PM

This one is very short and stupid, but its all i've got

Jess:I hate you Rob and I always will!!
Rob: :icon_mecry2:


Man that ones good! here I go:
Jess walks round to Robs house with what looks like a presant
Jess: Rob! I got you something.
Rob: Is it a new motor bike?
Jess: No, Guess again.
Rob: Is it a spanner or a tool?
Jess: No guess again.
Rob: Is it a new pair of shoes?
Jess: I really don't think your trying hard enouth should I just tell you?
Rob: Yes please do.
Jess: It's a block of Cheese!
Rob: Great sling it in the pile with the others.
Jess goes and puts the block of cheese down in a big pile of diffrent raped cheses
The End

Not very good I know but I haven't done one in ages and most of mine were about cow tipping.
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#8 winkwinky

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Posted 05 January 2007 - 06:29 PM

^ ^ ^ funny !
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#9 Musically Obsessed

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Posted 05 January 2007 - 07:53 PM

Rob: Do you have this blouse in chartruse?
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#10 JustBeingMe

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Posted 06 January 2007 - 01:29 AM

Jess: I had a dream. I know where the missing muppets are!

Lame I know.

Seng Li

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#11 *Teen_Idol_LUV*

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Posted 07 January 2007 - 12:27 PM

Rob: Do you have this blouse in chartruse?


HAHAHAHAHA IM KILLING MYSELF LAUGHING!! LMAO!! :icon_lol:
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#12 bluestarye

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Posted 09 January 2007 - 08:54 PM

karen sue: i'm going to challenge you for third chair, jess.
jess: sure, take it! i don't want it--i quit orchestra!
yea, i know, that was REALLY lame, but the battery in my brain isn't working well right now...
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#13 bluestarye

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Posted 09 January 2007 - 08:58 PM

okkkkkk... here's another one:

jess: hey, everyone! i can find people after all, i was lying!
feds come running

okkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk that was even dumber than the last 1
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#14 Evil Child

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Posted 11 January 2007 - 04:56 PM

here goes again
Jess: you want the whole truth?
Feds: Yes we need to know what happened!
Jess: Well it was Rob who stole the dress he said he need a new one because he riped his at Chucks
Feds: Rob wears a dress at chucks?
Jess: Well duh it is the main leading gay bar in the US!

I know it sucked but i tryed!

Rob: I think I'll shave my head to day.
Jess: Go for it!
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#15 jessandrobrule104

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Posted 16 January 2007 - 08:45 AM

rob:jess i am going to marry karen sue hankey
jess:nooooooooooooo,iwant to marry karen sue hankey
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#16 Musically Obsessed

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Posted 16 January 2007 - 09:50 PM

Tyra Banks: Rob, we got your application to America's Next Top Model.

Rob: What application?

Tyra: Boy, you can't fool Momma Tyra! I know you handed it in on PINK STATIONARY, too! That stuff was hot, boy! Did you get that from that new shop down on, oh nevermind, anyway--

Rob: What are you talking about? I have no idea, lady, who you--

Tyra: But, Rob, I'm really sorry, the application only goes out to girls.

Rob: Are, so this is totally--DARNIT! But I have what it takes! I DO!

Jay Manuel: This is so sad.
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#17 jessjonasson

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Posted 19 January 2007 - 08:04 PM

Ruth:" jess, i think you should dump rob..."
Jess *heaves a big sigh*: ruth we've been over this just because he's a grit..."
Ruth *cutting off jess*" we've been having a steamy affair behind your back and im going to have his baby."
Jess: :huh:

kinda dumb i kno...
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#18 A real all american girl

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Posted 22 January 2007 - 01:48 PM

Chick: Hey Rob does this eyeliner work for me?

Rob: Well, how about you try the red lipstick with it

*Chick puts on bright red lipstick*

Rob: *claps his hands* I love it

Chick: I don't look like im trying to hard?

Rob: Not at all!

Jess and Ruth: We got to go *inch towards the back door.*

-HayHay
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#19 Jesse's girl

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Posted 22 January 2007 - 08:09 PM

LOL,LOL,LOL,LOL,
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#20 megcabotfan5494

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Posted 23 January 2007 - 05:33 PM

Jess:Oh Karen sue Hankey, Ill never live up to you. Your perfect in every way possible!
*ha ha. stupid but i cant think of anything else....*
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#21 I_LV_MEDIATOR

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Posted 26 January 2007 - 05:50 AM

I was hoping when I came on here, I'd see this thread. :D

Jess: Rob, are you ever going to tell me what you're on probation for?
Rob: Fine, Jess, I'll tell you. I'm on probation because I was stalking you. I love you, I couldn't help it. And I would have got off easy, but I had planned to capture you and make you mine. But the police caught me.
Jess: :o

It sucks, but it's all I've got.





That was soooooo cute!!!! I luv it!!!
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#22 IBelieve

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Posted 29 January 2007 - 08:11 PM

Haha. I really liked the muppets one. Nice, Seng Li.
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#23 jessinia

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Posted 31 January 2007 - 08:14 AM

Jess: "Hey, Miss Boobs-as-big-as-my-head, wanna go shopping?"

Okay, and here's another one:

Rob: Yeah, and could you give me another peck? I'll fix you carborater for free!
Miss Boobs...: Yeah! *kisses Rob* Hey! Let's have an affair!

And one more:

Jess: No! No! I don't want to fight you, Big Bird! You're too tough!

Okay, I'm done.

Jess the Shocker
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#24 jessinia

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Posted 31 January 2007 - 08:15 AM

Oh... Almost forgot. It's supposed to be:

Jess the Shocker :o
(What would life be like without my little guy? LoL :))
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#25 Alone and Forgotten

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Posted 13 February 2007 - 07:31 PM

Jess: You know, guys, I was really never able to find kids by having dreams about them in my sleep.
Feds: Oh? How have you been doing it then?
Jess: Oh, Rob kidnapped them and hid them with someone he knew, then I waited until you guys were watching, and I went and found them.
Feds: :blink:
Jess: What? I just wanted my fifteen minutes of fame!


Hm... that was funnier in my head...
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#26 Bella_Fan

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Posted 20 February 2007 - 09:27 PM

Jess: Rob. I'm dumping you.
Rob: we were never going out. ( I haven't read Missing you, so if they hook up i don't know, I've only gotten to Safe house)
Jess: I find Allen much hottter.
Rob: *not looking to upset, he's used to her craziness* hes married
Jess: we are running off together to have an affair!
Rob: *now looking worried and panicked* You can't! I love you! You can't leave me now!
Jess: too bad

Lame but...

~Tonya~
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#27 lovely-green-eyes

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Posted 21 February 2007 - 03:57 PM

Jess: Rob, do you think if I grew out my hair and wore a pink mini dress, Skip would notice me?
Rob looks up from his cosmo magasine and starts playing with his hair : No way, I mean like, you'd totaly have to get highlights. Did you know it's that Alan Rickman guy's birthday today? I wonder if I should give him a call?
Jess: Alan Rickman? Is there something you're not telling me?
Rob: He's only like the hottest guy in the universe. You know, the one that plays Snape in Harry Potter.
Jess looked at him in horror. She then got out a brick and hit him round the head with it. She stumbled off all the while muttering : The guy with the greasy hair, he likes the guy with the greasy hair...

I know, I know, it's the worst of the worst. But that's what happens when you're high on caffine!
B) Paige B)
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#28 reading rules

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Posted 22 February 2007 - 04:35 PM

Rob : whad up, dudes.
Jess: Go away.
Ruth: No, Rob, don't go away I've got something to admit
Rob: Hello-o, I'm waiting.
Ruth: I love you Rob.
Rob: I love you Ruth
Jess: Ahem, what about me..
Rob: I love the both of you! Now get on my bike and I'll take you two out to dinner.
Skip: I want dinner too.
Rob: Fine. Ruth, Jess, stay here. I'm taking Skip out for dinner.


:spinstar: Catriona!
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#29 BrainStorm

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Posted 23 March 2007 - 10:32 PM

Oh my Goodness! all of these are hilarious!!!

~Jamie ♫
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#30 babyblue_princess93

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Posted 30 March 2007 - 10:35 PM

jesse: rob i dont love you anymore
rob: okay
jesse: arent you listening to me. i love karen sue
rob: but thats not fair i love her... i hate you...and i would be good in american idol( runs away girlishly)


i know it sucked but its all i could think of
:blush:

Stephanie
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#31 reading rules

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Posted 31 March 2007 - 05:06 AM

^^

That was good.


:mgturtle: Catriona!
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#32 Cutie Kitty

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Posted 20 April 2007 - 12:45 PM

Rob: Do you have this blouse in chartruse?

^^^ :a_smil08: LOL THIS IS SOOO FUNNY! :a_smil08: ^^^

Ok, I've never done this before, but here goes...

JESS AND RUTH ARE WALKING THROUGH TOWN!

JESS: Okay, so on the weekend I went to the mall, and I got the cutest purple mini-dress! And then, I saw these lush stilettos, and i totally bought them because you know, they make my thighs look thinner. But anyway...
RUTH: Are you feeling okay Jess?
JESS:Oh, alright. If you must know...me and Rob had a brain transplant, and ever since, all I can think about is slingbacks, and halter necks, and...(LOOKS IN SHOP WINDOW) how much I want that gold mini-skirt!

I know it's super-lame but oh well!
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#33 reading rules

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Posted 20 April 2007 - 02:46 PM

Hehe. That was good.

:mgturtle: Catriona!
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#34 Cutie Kitty

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Posted 21 April 2007 - 11:27 AM

This one is really random :krakrani: :

Ruth: Nice Jeans Jess.
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#35 LightningStrikes

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Posted 23 April 2007 - 06:59 PM

Rob: Jess, baby, we need to talk...

Jess: oh my god! I knew it! I SO knew it! Ruth was all, "Oh, yeah, well, he's a Grit, Jess. He'll never REALLY love you. Besides, I heard he was dating"-

Rob: Um...Jess...?

Jess: But I was all, "No way! My baby would never ditch me for that Ms. I-Like-Walks-On-The-Beach-and-Blah-blah-blah-I'm-lonley", but NO! DARN IT ROB! Now I owe that stinkin' Ruth $20...

Rob: Jess.

Jess: What?!

Rob: Honey, those shoes sooooooo do not go with that skirt! *snaps in Z formation* Uh-uh!




This was better in my head...
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#36 AvalonHighStudent

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Posted 30 April 2007 - 04:52 PM

rob: uh...jess.....I wanna tell you that I'm not going to work in the garage anymore.
jess: oh! where are you going to work now? another garage?
rob: uh...no....I'm going-
jess: chick's?
rob: umm...no...I am-
jess: what about a motorcycle dealership?
rob: well no...I am going to be a FASHION DESIGNER!


(yeah...gives me the creeps too.)

~Em~
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#37 Purple Giraffe

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Posted 01 May 2007 - 05:39 AM

This one has probably been done before, but meh : P

Rob: *sings* I don't love yoooouuuu, like I did, yeesssttterrrrdayyyy
Jess: What?!
Rob: It's true.... I was just dating you to get close to Mike!
Jess: But WHY?
Rob: He has a very limited edition Gerard Way poster....
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#38 reading rules

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Posted 01 May 2007 - 12:46 PM

Hehe. I like them.

:mgturtle: Catriona!
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#39 LightningStrikes

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Posted 07 May 2007 - 06:00 PM

Ooooooooh! I got another one!!! XD


Ruth: Jess, that was so not cool. I cannot believe you totally slugged that guy in the face! Violence will get you no where, you silly girl!

Jess: Excuse me? HE MADE ME BREAK A NAIL! Like, Oh-Em-Gee, Ruthy-Cakes. Had to get revenge!

Skip: Oh my gosh! He BROKE YOUR NAIL?!! You poor thing!

Rob: ...Jesus, Jess. It was just a nail. Get over it already.

Jess and Skip: Oh my gosh! You did soooo not just say that!

*Mike appears* Mike: Who...dares...to insult those nails?! I DID NOT SPEND 22 HOURS WITH NO SLEEP PAINTING THOSE NAILS! WHOEVER INSULTED THEM IS GOING TO PAY!!!!!!


Yeah, not as good, but whatevs. XD
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#40 fatlouiefan264

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Posted 17 May 2007 - 07:28 PM

jess: hey karen sue how are you doing?
karen sue: Hey stay away form me you !@#*%*#
Jess: aww come on! lets put our pst aside, you want want to go for brunch?
karen sue: EWWWY who would want to go out for brunch with you you *^&#$(#($
Rob: Hiya sweeite
Jess: Eww I hate you! why are you calling me sweetie?!?!?
Jess: Uhh jess? I was talking to karen sue
karen sue: Oh robbie....... :wub: You want to go for brunch? I'll pay
Jess: Hey EWW you like HIM?!?!?!
karen sue: of cruse! hes shuch a sweeite

Rob and karen sue walk of arm n' arm
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#41 Evil Child

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Posted 22 May 2007 - 04:15 PM

Wow some of these are really great!

Rob walks in singing 'hit me baby one more time'
Jess: Rob what is that racket? Has Chigger hurt his pour again?
Rob: No I'm practicing for American Idol.
Continues to sing 'hit me baby one more time
Jess picks up brick and hits him round the head.

Oh yes I think we should have the return of the brick!


Jess: before I leave and run away with skip I have to know what did you do?
Rob: Oh you’re not still on about that are you it was cow tipping.
Ruth: Wow Rob I think you’re so brave and your just incredible....
The return of cow tipping too



Jess: Rob what’s wrong?
Rob: Alright... I confess I haven't been fixing your car... I hate fixing cars. I have this terrible uncontrollable fear whenever I see Cars. When I was a kid I used to hate the sight of cars been fixed. My mother said I was a fool. She said the only cure for it was to become a mechanic. So I spent five ghastly years at the mechanic training center at Totness. Can you imagine what it's like fixing the same car for five years? I didn't want to be a mechanic any way. I wanted to be a Lumberjack.
Leaping from tree to tree, as they float down the mighty rivers of British Columbia. The Giant Redwood, The Larch, The Fir, The mighty Scots Pine! The smell of fresh cut timber! The crash of the mighty trees!

With my best girlie by my side, we'd sing... Sing... Sing...

Rob start to sing

I'm a lumberjack, and I'm okay.
I sleep all night and I work all day.

A band of lumberjacks appear behind him and start to sing

MOUNTIES:
He's a lumberjack, and he's okay.
He sleeps all night and he works all day.


I cut down trees. I eat my lunch.
I go to the lavatory.
On Wednesdays I go shoppin'
And have buttered scones for tea.

MOUNTIES:
He cuts down trees. He eats his lunch.
He goes to the lavatory.
On Wednesdays he goes shopping
And has buttered scones for tea.

He's a lumberjack, and he's okay.
He sleeps all night and he works all day.

BARBER:
I cut down trees. I skip and jump.
I like to press wild flowers.
I put on women's clothing
And hang around in bars.

MOUNTIES:
He cuts down trees. He skips and jumps.
He likes to press wild flowers.
He puts on women's clothing
And hangs around in bars?!

He's a lumberjack, and he's okay.
He sleeps all night and he works all day.

BARBER:
I cut down trees. I wear high heels,
Suspenders, and a bra.
I wish I'd been a girlie,
Just like my dear mama.

MOUNTIES:
He cuts down trees. He wears high heels,
Suspenders...and a bra?...

Jess: Oh Rob! And I thought you were so rugged!


With love claire.
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#42 fatlouiefan264

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Posted 09 June 2007 - 11:02 AM

[quote name='Evil Child' date='May 22 2007, 02:15 PM' post='1842773']
Wow some of these are really great!
Rob walks in singing 'hit me baby one more time'
Jess: Rob what is that racket? Has Chigger hurt his pour again?
Rob: No I'm practicing for American Idol.
Continues to sing 'hit me baby one more time
Jess picks up brick and hits him round the head.



HAHHAHHAHAHA

love it!!!!!!!!!!!!
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#43 emillydstrange

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Posted 17 June 2007 - 06:14 AM

Okay this is stupid but whatever:

Karen Sue: Watch it Jess or I'll knock your block off!
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#44 Sam*the*BookWorm*

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Posted 11 July 2007 - 12:35 PM

*Jess and Rob are strolling down a street when they see a pair of hot pink stilettos in a store window*

Rob: "OH! PRETTY!!"

Jess: "Move over, SUCKER! Those babies are MINE! MINE, I tell you! MINE!"

Rob: :icon_mecry2: "Awww, I wanted those. You know they would go better with my skin tone, not YOURS! LIKE TOTALLY DUH!"

*They both run into the store and get in a total cat fight*


Yeah , it wasn't that good

*Sam*
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#45 JustlikeJess

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Posted 11 July 2007 - 05:07 PM

I totally liked all of them. Here is one:
Claire: Hey Mike.
Mike: Yes
Claire: I have loved you ever since i laid eyes on you.
Mike: What are you talking about and why are you telling me this? I hate you.

Crystal

Sorry it is kind of stupid I know.
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