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#46 BonkersBookworm78

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Posted 19 February 2014 - 10:43 AM

What he has some confessions? 

Seriously this is so unpredictable.

Only five chapters? I'm going to miss this.

Immaculate description as usual .

Your writing has just the right balance, it just works so well, you really do have something special.

You have this remarkable character voice and this amazing control, it seems, as if your writing is in control.

The majority of published authors don't have the ability you have to really make things effortless for the reader.

I'm just a little blown over by this, there were one or two small mistakes, but you have skill. 

As usual I envy your writing ability, I really do.

Really this chapter emphasized all that.

Please update soon.

 

Oh and Happy Second Page!


Edited by BonkersBookworm78, 19 February 2014 - 10:43 AM.

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#47 Meg_Rulz

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Posted 19 February 2014 - 11:22 PM

OH MY GOD! CAN A STORY BE MORE PERFECT?? SERIOUSLY YOU ARE SUCH A TALENTED WRITER!

Honestly, why don't you try to get published? I totally agree with Millie.

 

Her DAD has something to confess? Wow. Never expected that.

 

And they kissed! Yay! Chaz is smoking hot!

 

Poorvi (from the story) is the complete opposite of me.

Will post a pic soon.

 

Love 

Poorvi


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#48 DayDreamer95

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Posted 19 February 2014 - 11:59 PM

Millie: your comment is so sweet! :) I dream to get published! If my mother lets me :) I'm noticing the mistakes. Haha but not bad fox still typing on the phone haha. :) more surprises.later! :)

Poorvi! Hello :) you are amazingly sweet. Haha I knowits slightly twisted. Chaz is a dreamer haha thank you arefor reading!



Okay sorry guys but no updates tonight. It's been stressful but two updates tomorrow! :)
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#49 BonkersBookworm78

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Posted 20 February 2014 - 04:04 AM

Thanks. 

I agree with Poorvi, you should be published.

Your still typing on your phone! Wow.

Don't worry about updating every day, stress is bad. 

But if you want to post two chapters I'm not complaining.


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#50 Meg_Rulz

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Posted 20 February 2014 - 06:49 AM

You are typing this from your phone?! Wow. 

 

Y E A H! Two updates!

The force is SO with me.


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#51 sierra rose

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Posted 20 February 2014 - 07:02 AM

I can't wait to read her dad's confession!!!!
I can't believe you type so much from you phone. I get irritated to type even a paragraph! You are so patient.
TWO UPDATES!???!????!!! AWESOME. can't wait....
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#52 DayDreamer95

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Posted 20 February 2014 - 10:54 PM

Millie: yup still trying on my phone :) I would be more detailed than what it is. Haha you guys really think it's publish worthy? :D

Poorvi: two updates are here! The force is with you young reader! :P

Sierra: confessing time! Hope you like it dear!

Two updates!
Wondergirl I am!

Chapter Fourteen

I'm crying so hard I can hardly see. I can't stop. I wonder if most peoples liyes we're this nutty. This horrid. This disturbed.
Let me explain.
~
"What do you mean?" I say" approaching him.
I stare at my father as if this is a joke. My eyebrows are knitted together. My lips pressing tightly while my mind races. I cannot think of why my father would need to confess. He is always honest. A gentle soul. A person I trust and love. I swallow hard before climbing into my bed.
My dad removes the black lids from the boxes. Pictures are overflowing my bed. I look at him. My dad is tense. I can tell by how his lower lip is trembling.
"What do you think of your mother?" He asks, abruptly.
"What?"
"Your thoughts on your mom?"
I'm actually speechless with this question. Do normal parents ask this question to their kids?
My fingers are pressed on my lips. My mind is thinking of your what to ash. I can't reply speak. The thought of mom seems to bring me in tears.
"She needs help." I say like a child.
I watch my dad pull out a picture. I can see its his wedding picture. My father holds on to the photo tightly. I notice a tear running down his face.
"Your mother was beautiful." He tells me.
I nod, still unsure where this is leading to.
"Inside and out she was laughing or maybe dancing. Living life to the fullest. Let me tell you a story.
~
It was Mexico, it was 1989. I was in my acid wash jeans and my aviators. I had to go on a family vacation in Puerto Villarta. My mother .was sun-bathing while my dad was teaching my younger sister, Auntie Valerie, how to swim.
My older brother, Uncle Rodney, and I hit the town. We were going through the market to go to this white sand beaches. Where all the ladies were.
But I never made it there. I saw this beautiful girl standing by her mother. The girl was gorgeous. Long black hair braided down her back. She wore this peasant style red dress. Her olive skin is more defied from the blood-red dress. Her eyes were hiding underneath her black hair.
I knew I had to approach her. I could feel my nervousness building in my stomach. My lips are dry, and beads of sweat are rolling of my forehead.
"¡Hola!" She says, a smirk across her lips.
"Hola senorita." I replied coolly.
"You're Spanish is terrible for an American." The girl tells me. She, too, is from the United States of America.
"Oh. That noticeable huh?"
"We do not pronounce the H." The girl corrects me.
"I'm Dave."
She gave me a smile. Before shaking my hand. I notice she has a firm grip. Shaking my hand vigorously.
"Beth."
And after that we were inseparable. She and I married within weeks of knowing one another. I knew she was the one girl for me
We both decided to move to the beach. To glorious Santa Barbara. We bought a house, made friends and had great jobs. Four weeks later Beth tells me she's pregnant.
I don't think I ever felt like a man like I did when she told me-"
"What has this got to do with me?" I ask.
"Beth was your mother."
"What?!" I yell.
I jump up off my bed. I'm confused. I'm annoyed and worse of all I'm scared.
"Beth died in child birth. I remarried to her best friend, Jill. I knew couldn't raise a child on my own. No one thought I could. My mother. Her family. Everyone thought that remarrying was a smart idea."
He hands me his wedding photo. That when the tears rushed down.
My dad is all dressed in a solid black tuxedo. He wears a grin, revealing white pearls of teeth. While my ACTUAL mom is in a long sleeved lace white dress. Her long dark hair is in a bun, being held up by her veil. I can see where I get my height from. She is so beautiful. My mother.
We share our chubby cheeks, and smirk of a smile. Our bright eyes, and our petite frame. We were one and the same. I trace her picture with my index finger.
"Why?" I say shaking. "Why?!"
Emotion is flooding every each of my body. I can't breath. How can I?
So I run out of my room, determined to get to the beach
The one place I felt safe. And maybe even sane.


Chapter Fifteen


The water is a dark liquid. The beautiful white moon is shimmering so purely in the water. The waves crashing on the shore is so calming. I inhale the fresh scent of the salt. Feeling a small smirk across my lips. The breeze sweeps my hair off my shoulders. This is happiness.
I sit down in the fine sand. It feels warm against my palm. The sand tickles my toes as I drive my feet deep into the ground. I swallow hard, draping my arms on my knees. Pulling my knees closer into my chest as I cry to myself softly.
I'm not always weepy, but lately I feel everything is an emotional roller-coaster ride
I'm not sure what to think. Do I hate a woman who adopted me in her life? Yet, destroyed my life with her drug abuse. Or fall in love with a woman I've never met. But made my dad happier than ever?
Why couldn't I just have a cookie-cutter home. An average family with normal frustrations? This is more complicated than soap operas.
I look up from my knees, staring into the clear horizon. Maybe I should give each mom the equal amount of fondness. Maybe.
"Hi." A small but family voice interrupts.
I look up to my left, there standing so angelic is Poorvi. She looks different from tonight. Her hair is down, revealing the waves in her hair. Poorvi has removed her thick eye makeup, and looks just as beautiful. I notice she is wearing sweatpants and a fitted shirt. I realise how tall Poorvi actuall.y is.
"Hi..." I say, my voice cracking. I wipe the excess tears from my cheeks.
"What's wrong?" She sits next to me. Her warm long arms wrap around my shoulders. Rocking me back and forth.
"Well my mom died in child birth. And I've been living in a lie." I blurt out.
"Huh."
"I'm screw-up." I state. I can feel the anger flowing through my veins.
Poorvi shakes me. "Everyone in Rosemont has skeletons in our closets."
I roll my eyes.
"I'm serious," Poorvi says. "My brother was homeless due to financial difficulties."
I look up at her. I give her a tight squeeze. Whispering that I was sorry for her and her family.
"Did you know Chaz's girlfriend died in a car crash?" Poorvi says. Her eyes are large, and bewildering
"What happened?" I ask.
She swallows hard, "Lindy was driving home from Chaz's house when a drunk driver hit her head on."
Oh.
"After that, he never spoke to anyone about it. Never took interest to anyone like he has to you."
I nod. I understand what she was trying to do. Poorvi was showing that our past didn't define us. It is what you do with your life in the future.
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#53 BonkersBookworm78

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Posted 21 February 2014 - 02:13 AM

Please note I've just woken up. 

Proper comment will be up later today, but heck I'd never have guessed that.

"Cookie Cutter Home", I love that phrase and concept.

Gah, I'm going to miss reading this.

I do think it's worthy of publishing, if you edited it on a laptop.

I will comment properly later today.


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#54 DayDreamer95

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Posted 23 February 2014 - 10:45 PM

Hey! :)

Sorry for not posting chapter 16

Should be up tomorrow!

Thanks for the adorable support!
Y'all are pure awesome in a bottle! :D

Alex~
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#55 Meg_Rulz

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Posted 24 February 2014 - 08:03 AM

Poorvi is so nice *swelling with pride* :P

Seriously, the message behind the second chapter is so nice.

 

And Oh. My. God. That confession was ... mind-blowing.

 

I am SO addicted to this.


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#56 BonkersBookworm78

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Posted 24 February 2014 - 12:17 PM

Chapter Fourteen

 

"Beth was your mother."

SHOCK

How could you possibly feel sane after that?

As usual I love the luxurious description, I feel spoilt.

But why? Why lie for that long? After all she went for thinking that his drug addict wife was her mother?

 

Chapter Fifteen

 

Poorvi is as lovely and kind as, well Poorvi.

Is it just me that wants to give her a hug?

Yay,their hugging now.

Very intelligently written.

 

Reading this is like drinking hot chocolate, if that makes sense.

Please update soon.


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#57 NikkiandEm

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Posted 24 February 2014 - 09:20 PM

So I finally got to reading this, and I just have to tell you, Cat (remember when we gave each other nicknames? :D), your writing has gotten so impressive over the years.  I remember when I was reading TTP––I was so impressed with your grasp on the English language, especially considering the younger age you were at, say, 3 or 4 years ago.  You've made such leaps and bounds since then, and it's almost breathtaking to think about.

 

You've really developed a distinct writing style for yourself, and your characters are irresistible.  They always have been––developing them is definitely your strong suit.  This is incredibly publish-worthy; I thought I was reading something off of my Nook App quite frequently.

 

I just can't even, oh my god.  I'm so proud of you.  Like a proud mama.

 

Keep writing, Cat!

 

–Nikki

 

(P.S. Mrs. Jennings wants her Turquoise Pumps, and she wants them soon.  I also want the other Mrs. Jennings, bubba97, to come back on here more often, but we can't always get what we want, huh? :D)


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#58 DayDreamer95

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Posted 25 February 2014 - 11:10 PM

Poorvi is so nice *swelling with pride* :P
Seriously, the message behind the second chapter is so nice.

And Oh. My. God. That confession was ... mind-blowing.

I am SO addicted to this.


I hope you like chapter 16. Poorvi is a sweetie like you! :)

Chapter Fourteen
SHOCK
How could you possibly feel sane after that?
As usual I love the luxurious description, I feel spoilt.
But why? Why lie for that long? After all she went for thinking that his drug addict wife was her mother?

Chapter Fifteen

Poorvi is as lovely and kind as, well Poorvi.
Is it just me that wants to give her a hug?
Yay,their hugging now.
Very intelligently written.

Reading this is like drinking hot chocolate, if that makes sense.
Please update soon.


Hi! Poorvi is so caring.
I want her in real life!
I like "very intelligently written"
Running wide from it! :D

So I finally got to reading this, and I just have to tell you, Cat (remember when we gave each other nicknames? :D), your writing has gotten so impressive over the years. I remember when I was reading TTP––I was so impressed with your grasp on the English language, especially considering the younger age you were at, say, 3 or 4 years ago. You've made such leaps and bounds since then, and it's almost breathtaking to think about.

You've really developed a distinct writing style for yourself, and your characters are irresistible. They always have been––developing them is definitely your strong suit. This is incredibly publish-worthy; I thought I was reading something off of my Nook App quite frequently.

I just can't even, oh my god. I'm so proud of you. Like a proud mama.

Keep writing, Cat!

–Nikki

(P.S. Mrs. Jennings wants her Turquoise Pumps, and she wants them soon. I also want the other Mrs. Jennings, bubba97, to come back on here more often, but we can't always get what we want, huh? :D)


Mrs. JENNING!

Thank you for noticing. And this isn't my best. I've worked hard to get t to what I like to call "The Nikki Standards"

Yes named after you, Mrs. JENNING!

You write flawless!

So I have spent time after time thinking "What would Mrs
JENNING do?"

I love you, thank you for reading!

And PS: TTP is coming back! :D I wish bubba97 was back too!

Okay readers!
Chapter 16 is here! :P


Chapter Sixteen

The sweet smell of pancakes is wafting the air. I think that's what got me up. I walked down stairs, wrapping my baby blue robe around my waist.
I can see my dear father is flipping buttery pancakes. He must had made twenty pancakes already. I notice the thick strip running off the edges. I lick my lips.
"Morning, dad"
He looks up, a slight broken smiles. I hate that look he has. His eyebrows knitted, but his smile telling me otherwise.
"Morning, sugar."
He pulls out a porcelain plate, stacking at least four pancakes. He slices a wedge of butter on top, and drizzle of maple syrup.
"Are you alright?" I ask, sitting at the stool by the eat-in kitchen.
"Yeah. I feel as though you're damaged from all this rollercoaster things."
I nod. "Dad, everyone has skeletons in their closets. Yet, it doesn't define you." I can feel the warm tears forming in my eyes.
My dad abandons the pan, to wrap his arms around my neck.
"You are so much more calmer than I. So much more understanding."
"I had a friend help me from my darker self." I murmur.
~
The sun is tanning my snow white skin. My hair is in a loose ponytail. I pull my aviators off my face, throwing them down on my beach towel. I'm wearing my neon yellow bikini, soaking up the sun.
I decide to take a dive into the salty water. Spend some time in this glorious weather. The water is chilly, I can feel the goosebumps forming on my skin. My arms are extended above my head, as I take a leap into the salt ocean. As I dive, I feel the salt slightly burning my eyes. Apparently, water seeps through eyelids.
The water is a magical place. I always dreamed of being in the sea forever. As if I was a mermaid, dancing in this blue paradise. The water makes me feel alive. As though all my pain, history, and mistakes are washing away.
I pop my head up, gazing up at the whip cream clouds. The gem-blue sky really seems so much brighter than I had ever thought. I look up, grinning. For some reason, I've never felt more alive than I have in Rosemont.
I guess I'm also trying not to feel the surge of anger in my stomach. The thought of me feeling like a screw-up. The pure idea of should I disown someone I thought I was my mother? And just not invest in the time trying to save a woman who decided to take me in? I am confused. I'm not sure what to think, nor what to do.
And not only did I have to worry about that, but what was I going to do with Chaz? I mean was I really ready to start a relationship in my state of mind? Or would I let the personal things get to me, eventually pushing him farther away?
There are things racing in my mind. Yes, I placed a facade. Playing as if nothing bothered me. Which it did. I am affected. So many terrifying events has happened in my life. I don't really think my father understands what I'm feeling. No one really understood what is running through my brain.
Poorvi had good thoughts, and many were profound. And yes, last night gave me things to think about. Yet, I feel so many things. Fright, sadness, anger, pain and a little depressed.
I know, I'm whining. But if you are every in my position, you'd understand my mixed emotions.
I shake off my depressing mood. And just try to enjoy the water and beach.
~
"So..." Bushra says so slowly it's painful. "Millie and Sierra told me about your-
"Can we please not discuss this?" I beg. Dropping my knife and fork.
Bushra swallows, before taking a bite of her salad. She looks gorgeous in her blue and purple lace shirt.
"Well," Sierra speaks so perky. "Let's talk about Stella's birthday!"
I look up from my steak and salad, gleaming at Sierra at the end of the table. She is showing a wide grin.
"Who?" I ask. My voice cracking. I shouldn't have come.
"Stella! Y'know Chaz's sister?" Millie interjects. Millie has now black streak in her blonde hair. So different.
"Oh." I say, using my fork to push the food around. "I have to go home."
And just like that, I left from the dinner table.


Alex
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#59 Meg_Rulz

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Posted 26 February 2014 - 02:19 AM

:) This chapter was sorta different - But loved it as usual!

 

I like all her friends, they're just so nice!

 

The way the chapter ended, it makes one wanna go "hmm..."

 

Waiting for the update to see how things turn out!


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#60 BonkersBookworm78

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Posted 26 February 2014 - 02:28 PM

I still want to give her a hug.

Things are really messed up, how can she try to be optimistic?

Thinking of doing what Millie did with my hair.

And Sierra`s still happy, come to think of it your characters are all pretty happy.

Great chapter. (Runs off to do history homework.)


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#61 NikkiandEm

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Posted 26 February 2014 - 07:36 PM

"Mille has now a black streak in her blonde hair"

 

#symbolism

 

I loved this chapter!! I felt all these really nice looming undertones...something's going to happen, and it's gonna be big!  I love how Sierra stays so positive even though she has so many reasons to be sad.  It's great for people to read about a strong female character.  Love it!

 

Definitely hits my Nikki Standard!


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#62 DayDreamer95

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Posted 27 February 2014 - 10:44 PM

:) This chapter was sorta different - But loved it as usual!
 
I like all her friends, they're just so nice!
 
The way the chapter ended, it makes one wanna go "hmm..."
 
Waiting for the update to see how things turn out!

 

Hi! :) thank you for reading.

It was a different turn for Hailee :) and the reader!

Chaz makes a guest appearance in the next chapter:)

 

I still want to give her a hug.
Things are really messed up, how can she try to be optimistic?
Thinking of doing what Millie did with my hair.
And Sierra`s still happy, come to think of it your characters are all pretty happy.
Great chapter. (Runs off to do history homework.)

 

Things are crazy. Difficulty of a girl :)

Sierra is like the super hero of this story. Perky and loving.

Thank you for reading (even before history homework) ;)

 

"Mille has now a black streak in her blonde hair"

 
#symbolism
 
I loved this chapter!! I felt all these really nice looming undertones...something's going to happen, and it's gonna be big!  I love how Sierra stays so positive even though she has so many reasons to be sad.  It's great for people to read about a strong female character.  Love it!
 
Definitely hits my Nikki Standard!



Trust me Mrs. J.
Something is going down
Thank you for reading and commenting! :)
I made the NIKKI STANDARD! :)


Love all of y'all for reading! ♥♡

So chapter17 will be long and fun

Chaz will pop by!
So 17 will be the last chapter. 18 is epilogue! :)

Love you :heart:
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#63 Meg_Rulz

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Posted 28 February 2014 - 03:05 AM

*sob* It is gonna end *sob*

And Chaz! Come fast! :P
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#64 DayDreamer95

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Posted 02 March 2014 - 09:33 PM

Chapter Seventeen

Tears are on my pillow.
My face is red and hot. My hair is in this messy bun to let my neck breath. I bury my face into my pillow, feeling the warm tears falling from my eyes.
I think I've been in this state for a dang long while. I don't even remember how I came home. I'm just feeling horrid for myself.
I rise my head from my pillow, a tear rolling from my cheek to the end of my mouth.Tasting the saline. I place my hands on my knees, feeling the plush feeling of my burgundy sleep pants.
I look out across my room, peering through my large window. I can see the moon glittering at me. There is a faint smile face across its surface. I feel my lips making a tiny smirk.
I swing my legs over the edge of my bed, barely touching the chilly hardwood floor. I decide to sit by my window sill.
I slide on my petite sill, gazing at the black liquid shimmering the reflection of the moon in the dead of the night.
Rosemont is extremely quiet, as usual. I don't think there is a soul alive right now. Though, in the distance, is a girl running on the beach. I assume it is Poorvi. She told me running at night was freedom for the soul for her.
I think to myself, maybe if would relax my mind. Yet, I push that thought away.
The quiet serenity of being alone is what I need. Emotionally, physically and mentally I have went through the Hell.
"Beautiful girls losing souls...." I murmur a poem I had written just a minute ago. "Maybe one day I'll let go."
Well, just let the tear-flood gates opened. Great.
I bury my face into my knees. This is stupid. I should just be stronger than this. I'm not. I can't be stronger.
There is no way in my dreams could I stand tall, pretending everything was perfect. When it's not.
I slip my bottom off the sill to grab my phone. It's by my huge mint lamp.
I click the side button, a drawing of Marilyn Monroe blowing a piece of chewing gum. I loved her poofy-is that a word? Well it is now.-blonde hair and cat eyeliner.
12:34 A.m. reads the clock. I move my finger unlocking the screen.
I quickly click on Browser to check out the new stories and comments on the Meg Cabot Message Board. When , POP! There is a message from no other than Sierra.

Hiiiiii!
:) its your fave gurl, Sierra! please come by the beach. Need your help! :D

I text her back with a mere K. Just to get her blood boiling. She hates people just replying K. I'm such a badass.
~
I'm sure magic elves work in a tiny sweat shops to make Uggs the most comfortable shoes to walk the planet.
Finger running my hair in a loose ponytail to show off my small pearl earrings. I tie my grey sweater around my hip as I scan for live bodies.
I open my phone to call Sierra. But she beats me to it.
"Hey, where are you?" I say, I can notice my annoyance in my voice.
"Turn around!" She shrieks.
God, how is she able to maintain that kind of energy.
I spin around, just feeling the cool arms of Sierra wrapping around my neck. She is wearing this large grin,while her eyes glow with anticipation and excitement.
She grabs my hand, tugging me back up the dunes. The sand is fine, but I am sinking. I can feel sand pouring in my Uggs. Ew.
"Where are..." I'm losing my breath from the large incline. "We going?"
"Follow me!" She says so sing-song.
~
Downtown Rosemont is so beautiful. Lovely white lights are hanging from historic buildings. Many stores have a light in their windows. It seems friendly that way, not like creepy murders are lurky in the dark. All of downtown buildings are made of brick with lead windows.
I see our small church by the corner. It stands so tall, showing off its enormous cedar cross. I swallow, staring at Jesus and his painful face.
Sierra is taking a sharp left. I can see downtown's plaza in the distance.
Rosemont didn't have a large plaza. It was a rectangle shaped concrete with sections of lush green grass and flowers. Forty foot tall trees decorated with seasonal lights.
Noticing, as we get closer, is a group of people. I can see these figures are holding banners, lights and is that a table full of food? I don't have a clue what's going on until I stand before their feet.
All my friends are holding this circular white cake full of multicolored candles. My dad is spreading his arms wide, gripping tightly on a a banner saying
"We love you, Hailee."
Chaz is standing in the background wearing a stupid red party hat. He gives me an encouraging smile, before winking.
Sierra has finally released my wrist, she has a strong grip! She looks at me, giving me a warm smile.
"Everyone has been through Hell." She says.
Sierra is standing in front of many familiar faces. Her voice is booming, its obvious she does not need a microphone.
"But few actually make it through." Her eyes forming tiny tears. "And that you have done."
I can feel the saline in my eyes. I keep repeating to myself not to cry. Why am I so emotional?
"Being a teenager can be hard." Speaks up Chaz's mother.
Oh no. What was her name? Sally? Sarah? Cookie?
"Going through hard times doesn't mean you to be alone." She tells me.
Shea! That's the one. She speaks well in publicly. Pronouncing each word firmly and formally.
"I don't deserve this." I announce.
I don't. Why do I need this when just about everyone has been through worse Hell than I?
"This isn't for me." I tell the hundred pairs of eyes glaring at me. "This has to be for everyone that is standing in front of me."
~
So people seemed to be surprised that I didn't want this party to be about me. But about the community. That was I was trying to go for.
I'm self-conscious right now. Everyone is dressed fancy. Millie is wearing this cute black and white graphic dress with floral Dr. Marten's. While Bushra is in a bright peasant style yellow and green shirt, strutting around the party in pink shoes underneath those bell-bottom jeans. Poorvi is in a long purple dress, her hair laying perfectly on h

The only other person not dressed up like crazy is Sierra. But I'm still not even close to her.
I walk along the long white plastic table. Seeing delectable foods. Tasty cheeses with homemade bread. Grapes with chocolate fondue fountain and unusually colored fruit drinks.
"So," a familiar voice rolling the sound.
I look up, chewing on a piece of Swiss cheese. I crack a smile. "How long is it going to be before you kiss and love me?"
"You're rather cocky aren't you?" I say, laughing hard. So harding don't believe I can breath.
"Come here!" He laughs, swinging his arm around my hip and kissing me hard.
~
The party's quieting down. Only Sierra and Poorvi are still here, cleaning up the last bit. Millie had to leave early, she felt the urge to give Elliott a call. Bushra also left, but that was because of her parents.
So literally it was just Sierra, Chaz, Poorvi and I.
I am sitting on the grass-it tickles!-helping Poorvi fold up these white plastic table. Her pretty hair is all scattered on her face.
She looks up at me, once we snapped one of those metal legs in.
"I wish I was a comfy as you." Poorvi says with glee. I roll my eyes. Popping the other metal leg underneath the table.
That's when Sierra came up behind me. Pressing her petite hand on my shoulder. I can't help but look up.
"Poorvi, lets go babe. Let the lovebirds be."
She flickers her bright eyes at me, winking.
I swing my legs out from under me, to give Sierra and Poorvi a tight hug.
"I'll give you a call." I whisper to them.
Once gone, I rushed over to Prince Charming who was sitting on a brick ledge that surrounded this tall luscious trees.
"What are you snickering about?" Chaz says, grinning.
His dark hair in his eyes, while his long legs are extended out over the four foot ledge.
"I'm here with you." I tell him. I slip my hands around his waist. I press my head into his chest. I think how his chest is built for my head.
Then I raise my head up. Just admiring him.
"I always dreamed of amazing the stars." Chaz announces, his eyes glued to the dark sky.
I see the white speckles in the sky. They all were twinkling.
"Why haven't you?" I ask. My voice is tiny. Maybe because I'm nervous. Why though?
"I already have the brightest, shining star right beside of me." Chaz says, looking down at me.
He pulls my chin up, pulling me into him some more. And then Chaz kissed me the most strongest and passionate kiss I ever had.

~

Hi! *waves*

So this is the longest chapter yet!

I understand it's cliche and not the most strongest ending. But the epilogue should be good! :)


Tell me what you loved what you hated and anything between

Love all .pf y'all for reading! :)
Alex
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#65 Meg_Rulz

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Posted 03 March 2014 - 04:06 AM

*sob* Second - last chapter *sob* :(

 

Hailee has been through tough times. She deserves such nice and not to mention, an incredibly hot boyfriend. :)

 

And she's on MCMB? :P Haha, loved that part and 

 

 

I quickly click on Browser to check out the new stories and comments on the Meg Cabot Message Board. When , POP! There is a message from no other than Sierra.

Hiiiiii!
:) its your fave gurl, Sierra! please come by the beach. Need your help!  :D

I text her back with a mere K. Just to get her blood boiling. She hates people just replying K. I'm such a badass.
~
I'm sure magic elves work in a tiny sweat shops to make Uggs the most comfortable shoes to walk the planet.
Finger running my hair in a loose ponytail to show off my small pearl earrings. I tie my grey sweater around my hip as I scan for live bodies.
I open my phone to call Sierra. But she beats me to it.
"Hey, where are you?" I say, I can notice my annoyance in my voice. 
"Turn around!" She shrieks.
God, how is she able to maintain that kind of energy.
I spin around, just feeling the cool arms of Sierra wrapping around my neck. She is wearing this large grin,while her eyes glow with anticipation and excitement.
She grabs my hand, tugging me back up the dunes. The sand is fine, but I am sinking. I can feel sand pouring in my Uggs. Ew.
"Where are..." I'm losing my breath from the large incline. "We going?"
"Follow me!" She says so sing-song.

I SO love Sierra.

 

And (duh!) when they kiss. Perfect. :)

 

I love the ending - Waiting for the epilogue.

 

You're such an awesome writer. :)


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#66 BonkersBookworm78

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Posted 03 March 2014 - 02:08 PM

(Please Note: I'm hyper.)

 

Cute!- Sweet- Happy- So lovely - Too cute- So sweet

What it's the last chapter? (Stares at Kindle.)

I'm going to miss Chaz so much.

Mmm, I wanted to quote pretty much everything.

As usual I love Millie`s outfit.

Chaz is too cute, it's bad for my health.

 

she hates people just replying Kay.I'm such a badass.

Love that line.

That's what I call a proper ending.

Can't wait for the epilogue.


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#67 DayDreamer95

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Posted 03 March 2014 - 11:59 PM

Chapter Eighteen

Summer is over.
And though I should be sad. I'm not. Many things have happened during the past couple of months.
For starters, Sierra has fallen head of heels with this surfer guy named Jimmy. And to say the least he is a looker with that six-pack that Jimmy loves to show off.
Chaz doesn't say anything, but I know he is jealous.
Bushra is an avid writer. She's produced a novel that I was fortunate to read. And let me say something, she is a pool of talent. And recently she sent it off to a publishing company in New York.
Millie is moving in January. Yes, we were all sad when we heard the news. But her family has decided that London would have many more opportunities. Millie isn't even complaining, since she'll be living right across the street from Elliot. And she is full of glee and excitement. Showing photographs of her new house and school. She is so in love with London, and Elliot.
And what about me you ask? Well, I disowned my drug addict of a.mother. she can't seem to straighten herself out. Always into something. And I feel my life can start when I have no strings attached to her. I also go to therapy. Twice a week, with this nice lady called Margot. She has helped me through my insecurities, and learn how to control strong emotions. She is quiet, but when she does speak I always leaving questioning my behavior. In a good way though.
Chaz and I are stronger than ever. He's taught me how to surf. I'm not the best-every time I fall off within seconds-but the rush of feeling like I'm flying is magnificent.
I have taught him to organize. He isn't quite happy about that. Haha.
Tomorrow is the first day of school. Though keep in mind I know practically everyone in this town. All the students, and all the teachers.
I met the principal recently. And she wasn't what I was expecting. The lady is average height. She wears these tortoise shell cat eye seeing glasses. Mrs. Petty always speaks formal. As if I'm listening to Shakespeare.
Mrs. Petty dresses conservative. With long sleeves and skirts with socks. And I don't think she even knows that color exist. Brown, grey and black are all her color palette.
Mrs. Petty isn't the most pleasant beast in the woods. She is snarky and extremely cocky. And can you believe that Mrs. Petty and Sierra fight like cats and dogs. Funny.
My dad is doing well. He is getting a divorce. Its hard, and we are practically helpless for my mother. We can only do so much saving. Eventually, she has to give in to fix herself.
I think that's what I've learned the most since Rosemont. That I can't just have a boy save me from life and danger but I have to be the one that wants to be saved.
Sometimes everything is dark. The tunnel is narrow, creepy and lonely. But there is always light ahead. And if you just push through it, BELIEVE in yourself. Believe your capabilities. Just believe.


~
Thank you for all of my followers! My readers that bring me joy!

Don't be sad. Because this is going to be a series of each of Hailee's friends POV.

:)
And I also have
THE
TURQUOISE
PUMPS
:)
I love all of you for reading and following the ups and downs of Hailee and Chaz:)

LOVE ♥
ALEX~
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#68 Bushra_Siddiqui

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Posted 04 March 2014 - 09:51 AM

oh my god! I'm going to miss Believe!
 

 

 

Sometimes everything is dark. The tunnel is narrow, creepy and lonely. But there is always light ahead. And if you just push through it, BELIEVE in yourself. Believe your capabilities. Just believe.

I loved this line.

The ending was PERFECT.

 

 

Bushra is an avid writer. She's produced a novel that I was fortunate to read. And let me say something, she is a pool of talent. And recently she sent it off to a publishing company in New York.

oh my god! Your character Bushra is just like me! 

I loved The Turquoise Pumps too! Glad it's back!

Are you going to continue this like in a series?


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#69 BonkersBookworm78

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Posted 04 March 2014 - 10:43 AM

Loved it - you know how to end a story.

What it's a series? (Jumps up and down squealing.)

And The Turquoise Pumps!

Millie and Elliott are so cute.

Sierra`s in lurve!

Love the link to the title 

Man you can write.

Thanks, I'm going to miss this more than anyone else will .


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#70 bubba97

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Posted 04 March 2014 - 03:51 PM

Okay, I'm not entirely done. In fact, I'm barely at chapter three, but I'm going to finish this soon. 

 

 

Allie, oh my god, Allie. I've missed writing comments on your stories so much. As per usual, I love the male characters in your stories. :D

 

The name changing is definitely odd, but weirdly enough, I don't mind it. 

 

I like her relationship with her dad, it seems realistic. I really like her dad, actually. He's very... sweet. (for lack of a better word. And too think I want to be a writer, I can't even think of proper adjectives).

 

I can't wait for the whole mom-escaping-from-rehab thing to unravel. 

 

And her nightmare was.... Well I'm hoping you're going to explain that soon, because I am just speechless. 

 

 

I'm gonna probably finish reading this later tonight, but I just wanted to comment for the sake of commenting. 

 

I'm extremely happy with this Allie. Seriously, I love it. You've really improve so much :D

 

-Alexandra


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#71 sierra rose

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Posted 12 March 2014 - 09:54 AM

ALEX! Finally I finished it today! It's AWESOME! I totally love it. :D
And there's a sequel to it? Amazing!
And the way you ended it was really really good.
I'll be waiting with excitement for the sequel! :D :D
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#72 bubba97

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Posted 19 March 2014 - 04:11 PM

So I finally got to reading this, and I just have to tell you, Cat (remember when we gave each other nicknames? :D), your writing has gotten so impressive over the years.  I remember when I was reading TTP––I was so impressed with your grasp on the English language, especially considering the younger age you were at, say, 3 or 4 years ago.  You've made such leaps and bounds since then, and it's almost breathtaking to think about.

 

You've really developed a distinct writing style for yourself, and your characters are irresistible.  They always have been––developing them is definitely your strong suit.  This is incredibly publish-worthy; I thought I was reading something off of my Nook App quite frequently.

 

I just can't even, oh my god.  I'm so proud of you.  Like a proud mama.

 

Keep writing, Cat!

 

–Nikki

 

(P.S. Mrs. Jennings wants her Turquoise Pumps, and she wants them soon.  I also want the other Mrs. Jennings, bubba97, to come back on here more often, but we can't always get what we want, huh? :D)

 

 

 

Okay oh my god, I love you :D

 

 

This actually made me soo happy I can't even tell you. 

 

 

 

 

 

Anyway hi. I know you haven't even replied to the first comment I wrote but I wanted to comment because I'm done reading.

 

 

I really like it, it was short and sweet and the characters were all really cute.

 

The plot was simple but nice, and entertaining. The happy ending was wonderful and refreshing and I'm so proud of you for finishing your first story on here. 

 

 

Congratulations Allie. Now you go write TTP! Yea! 


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