Oh. My. Gosh.HELP ME PLEASE.
i never wouldb'e thought anything would be able to go wrong with the guy im with. Oh boy, was i wrong. I've been going out with him for 4 1/2 months (just tomorrow
) and for the past month it's been a war. We've argued more, fight more and i haven't had a phone for about a month either, so it's been very hard. A little while ago, things got a bit rough, because it started to get a bit more intense (in a sexual way) and i thought that he had been looking at porn, and he went on holiday and i sent him a txt about it, and said if he doesnt stop looking at it, we would be over. I was wrong, he hadnt been looking at porn, he did once in the past. But he didnt do it at the time he asked me about it. So, ever since then, things have been different. We're not really as intense as we used to be, and we fight over the most stupidest little things. The other day everything went wrong because my best guy friend (who is my boyfriend's best friend too) told my boyfriend that i called him a jerk. ( i didn't call him a jerk, i said he was ACTING like a dick, not that he was one.) I stirred things up, and everything mucked up. He wouldnt talk back to me on msn and i got very upset when i told him i loved him and he didn't reply. He's not as meaningful as he used to be, ( he doesn't tell me how much he's in love me and how he wants to be together forever etc..) he still tells me he loves me, but hes not as intense as he used to be. Something has changed in our relationship, and i've told him that. He thinks so too, but we don't really know what. I'm starting to think that it's my fault. He used to tell me he's never EVER going to dump me because he's too in love with me and stuff. The other day, he said "the only time i'm going to dump you is if we're REALLY struggling in our relationship" - stuff like that. He's changed and i told him that. He acts smart-ass (he never used to be like that) he said that because of what i told him (about the porn) that's why he's been acting differently. I saw him just before and i told him how sorry i was about what had happened, even thought it was a little while ago. He's not as intensely into the relationship as he used to be, and that worries me. He told me just before, "since we've been fighting and in the wars lately do you think our relationship is coming to an end?" and i said, "no, why, do you?" and he said "kinda." then he said- " I think that we're going to break up sometime. I'm so scared. I told him after that, that i want to move on from the past, and that i don't want to talk about breaking up and stuff because it's upsetting, and that i want him to act the way he used to. He said that he's going to. He's going to try.
I'm so scared that everything is just going down hill. I asked him if he's still as in love with me as he used to be, and he said "yes, i still love you as much as i ever have." While he said that, i'm still so scared. I'm scaredfor what's going to happen. He was the one who made me happy after my break-up. He was the one who i completely feel head over heels for. He means everything to me. - That's the stuff he used to say, now i feel like it's me who's saying it more!!
He never used to be like this, and now im worried that we'll be breaking up soon, (even though he told me and my friend that he'd pretty much be torn if we ever broke up.)
I'm sooo incredibly scared. Why is he thinking this? I would never have thought that this would be happening!!!
I don't want to break up! We used to talk about our future together, and what it's going to be like!!
It's changed. Because i have no phone anymore, and im not allowed to talk to him on thephone during the week, -that's been for about 2 months, by the way.
It's putting pressure on. I never would've thought that my boyfriend could even THINK- " i think it's coming to an end."
I don't want it to end. I love him so much.
Please help me, i'm just about in tears.