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Glimpse


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#46 BonkersBookworm78

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Posted 04 March 2014 - 10:54 AM

The scene with Adam at the beginning was perfect, re-reading that cheered me up . I want to quote the entire conversation.

Hating the name Derek with passion at the moment.

The bonds between everyone and the massive loyalty makes powerful reading.

Your ending to that chapter worked remarkably well, very interesting.

I'm anxious to know how it ends, but I do dread it a little 

Please update soon.

You are greatly talented.


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#47 KatieCakes

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Posted 13 April 2014 - 04:10 PM

Hey guys! Sorry I've taken so long to update, life has been pretty crazy lately! This is the penultimate chapter of Glimpse, and it's only a short one. I can't believe I'm nearly at the end of my first story! Anyway, hope you enjoy this chapter. :-)

 

Chapter 14

 

I heard a shout coming from Daniel’s father, who I saw as I approached the doorway, was being held back by two of the men in the room. With dread, knowing already what I was about to see, I took a step into the room. Daniel was lying on the floor near the wall on my right. I stopped cold as I saw the vision that I’d been replaying over and over in my head.

 

I felt like I was being crushed, I had no idea what to do. I rushed over and knelt down beside him. There was blood spreading from the wound in his stomach, seeping through his white shirt. I felt tears prick at my eyes but I chocked them back down, now was not the time for hysteria, I had to do something. In my haste to help Daniel, I’d forgotten about Derek. I turn around quickly and saw him slowly getting up from the floor, his back to me. Daniel’s father was struggling aggressively against the men holding him but he was still no match for them.

 

Whilst they were preoccupied holding him back, I realised that Derek wouldn’t have his back to me for long. So I took my opportunity. I didn’t know what I was thinking; I was on my feet without even forming a plan. I lifted one of the bricks that were scattered on the floor and walked towards him. I saw Daniel’s father stop struggling and stare at me wide-eyed. The men holding him realised what I was doing a few seconds too late. The second I reached Derek, he turned around and looked shocked for a moment. Before he even had a chance to react, I’d pulled back my arms and swung the brick until it collided with the side of his head, making a sickening thud. He fell backwards against the wall and slid down to the floor, blood pouring from his temple.

 

One of the men let go of Daniel’s father in a moment of haste and I saw him look at the gun that had fallen to the floor, but I was quicker. I flung myself towards the gun, wrapping my hand around it and pointing it up at the man. He glanced at the door. I knew there were more of Derek’s gang members around this building, and I knew if they came down here, I wouldn’t be able to hold them off, even with a gun in my hand.

 

“Don’t even think about moving,” I said. I was trying to sound as determined as I could, even though I was terrified, knowing every moment we were trapped here, Daniel’s life was in more danger. The man took a step towards me. “I swear I’ll shoot.” My hands were shaking; I must have looked like a fool to him.

 

At that moment, I saw Daniel’s father break out of the other man’s grip. They started fighting, but the man in front of me kept taking steps towards me. I kept stepping back to get further away from him but I felt myself meet the wall. Behind him, I saw Daniel’s father push the other thug into the wall, his head banging on the bricks. He fell to the floor. I wave of hope rushed over me when I heard police sirens in the distance.

 

Adam.

 

“A clever little girl like you wouldn’t pull that trigger,” the man said to me, his voice calm. “Would you?”

 

Behind him, Daniel’s father raised a finger to his lips as he bent down to pick the brick I’d used from the floor. I fixed my gaze back onto the man in front of me, making sure he didn’t realise. I saw the deep creases in his skin and a scar that ran across his cheek. He took one step closer before Daniel’s father hit him directly at the back of the head with the brick and he fell down, unconscious. I dogged out of the falling man’s way.

 

I dropped my arm back down to my side and rushed back to Daniel, his father right behind me. I thought he’d have run. The police sirens were getting increasing louder and I figured, after all the crimes he’d committed for Derek in the past, they wouldn’t be letting him get away. But he didn’t try to run. Instead, he removed his jacket and told my told hold it on Daniel’s stomach, to stop the blood flow. He stood there for a moment, looking down at him, and I could see the pain in his eyes. Whatever he’d done these past few years, he was full of regret for it all right now.

 

We heard commotion in the corridors. Obviously, the other thugs Derek had been keeping here had realised that the police were approaching and were now trying to escape. Daniel’s father picked up the gun from where I’d left it on the floor and watched the doorway, in case any of them tried to come in. A couple ran past but didn’t attempt to get Derek out, so much for their loyalty to him.

 

I turned my attention back to Daniel. The sight and the smell of blood were causing my stomach to flip but I was determined to hold it together. I brushed his hair off his face, which was sill as beautiful as ever, despite the several cuts and bruises. I realised, with guilt, that I had caused my own vision to come true. If Adam and I hadn’t have shown up here tonight, things might have gone a lot differently.  

 

I heard voices near the doorway and looked up to see a couple of police officers standing there. One of them went up to Daniel’s father and one of them walked over to me. I didn’t hear what they were saying, my brain had clouded over. The smell of the blood and the relief at seeing help come for us had all become too much and I felt a wave of dizziness, not a vision this time, just exhaustion.

 

Someone pulled me away from Daniel, the police man taking over and sending a message for an ambulance. I hadn’t realised that I’d been crying until I tasted one of the salty tears on my lips.

Daniel’s father being handcuffed was the last thing I saw before I blacked out.


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#48 BonkersBookworm78

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Posted 14 April 2014 - 03:38 PM

Short, but effective.

Straight to the point - every word had purpose.

It was just right, the way it was written.

The highlight of the chapter for me was the brushing of Daniels hair after everything.

I didn't think of the brick, it all seemed so sudden.

Just the right balance in everything, as well as pace.

Too powerful, how can this be your first story?

You must have a ton of natural talent.

So, as per usual I want an update, but no pressure.

Just don't stop writing after this, your too good for that.


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#49 KatieCakes

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Posted 16 April 2014 - 09:20 AM

Short, but effective.

Straight to the point - every word had purpose.

It was just right, the way it was written.

The highlight of the chapter for me was the brushing of Daniels hair after everything.

I didn't think of the brick, it all seemed so sudden.

Just the right balance in everything, as well as pace.

Too powerful, how can this be your first story?

You must have a ton of natural talent.

So, as per usual I want an update, but no pressure.

Just don't stop writing after this, your too good for that.

 

Thank you for your comment! I'm so glad you enjoyed the chapter! :-)


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#50 KatieCakes

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Posted 12 July 2014 - 07:07 AM

Hey! I can't believe how long it's been since my last update! :icon_eek: Anyway, I've finally managed to finish writing the final chapter of Glimpse! This was my first ever attempt at writing a full length novel and I wasn't even sure I'd be able to do it, but I did. I'm sure when I read this back, I'll do nothing but cringe, but at the moment I'm proud of it! Huge thanks to Millie (BonkersBookworm78) for her constant support after every update! :heartbeat: And thank you to everyone who took the time to read Glimpse!

 

Chapter 15

 

My sight was bleary as I opened my eyes slowly to find myself in a hospital room. I could make out my mother sitting on a chair in the corner and Jade was sleeping on the chair next to my bed. I tried to sit up but the throbbing in my head pushed me back down the pillow.

 

“Sweetheart,” my mother came rushing over. “You’re awake!” Jade’s head flew up from her napping position. “Jade, go get the nurse.” Jade grinned at me before leaving the room. My father came in as she was walking out.

 

“She’s awake!” he stated the obvious. My mother leaned over the bed to kiss my forehead.

 

The nurse came in with a friendly smile. “Lissa, nice to have you conscious.” she said with a wink. She came over to me with a chart, asking me questions about how I was feeling. The doctor came in shortly after to examine me.

 

“You were just a little shocked and you blacked out, there’s nothing to worry about in the long term.” He smiled reassuringly.

 

Blacked out. Memories of the abandoned warehouse came flooding back to me.

 

“Is Daniel alright?” I sat up, panicked.

 

“He’s going to be just fine, sweetheart,” my dad reassured me. I felt a wave of relief. “We saw his mother earlier; the doctors are just waiting for him to wake up.”

“So he’s here? Can I see him?”

 

The doctor sat me back down. “You need to go home and rest, Lissa. You’ve had quite an eventful night.” I looked at the clock on the wall. 9am. It was strange to think of the danger I was in just twelve hours ago.

 

Jade came and sat next to me on the bed. “I’ve asked Charlie to text me when Daniel wakes up.”

 

“Is he okay?” I asked her, completely forgetting that poor Charlie had been locked up in that warehouse. “Wait… How does Charlie have your number?” I raised a brow at her as I watched her cheeks begin to flush.

 

She didn’t have time to explain though as our parents started getting ready for us to go.

 

******************************************************************************

 

It had been Charlotte who had called the police. Later that night, when she didn’t get an answer from Adam and mine’s phones, she came to my house and Jade had told her everything. She had remembered what I’d told her about my vision and since Jade had told her about the warehouse Derek had bought, she came to the same conclusion I had and called the police.

 

Charlotte wanted a full, dramatic account of the whole event when she and Adam came to visit me about an hour after I got home. Mum wanted to keep them out, insisting I shouldn’t have company but I begged her to let them stay. I needed them right now.

 

Adam told me what had happened after he and Charlie had left the warehouse. They’d got out of the surrounding grounds and waited behind a tree, assuming Daniel and I would have found a way to follow. When we didn’t emerge, Charlie panicked and tried to get back in. Adam had to do everything he could to stop him going back in after Daniel. That was when they’d heard the police sirens.

 

By the way Charlotte kept resting her head on Adam’s shoulder and looking up at him with adoration, I figured Adam’s life being at risk had caused Charlotte to fess up her feelings one and for all. I’d have to have a girls-only conversation with her as soon as I was better.

 

The police came to question me after Adam and Charlotte had left. I found out that Derek had indeed been involved in drug dealing and various other crimes. He and Daniel’s father had been arrested. I couldn’t help but wonder how Stacey was feeling. She might have been a total *%^##, but she was my friend once and I couldn’t imagine what finding out the truth about her father must have been like for her.

 

It was later on that night when Jade received her text from Charlie, telling her that Daniel had woken up and he’d make a full recovery. My dad promised to drive me to the hospital tomorrow, only if he deemed me well enough.

 

**********************************************************************

 

I was nervous on the journey to the hospital the next afternoon. My heart was racing as my father parked the car and walked me into the reception area. He sat down in the waiting room and told me to take as long as I needed.

 

As I was approaching the room number that I was given by receptionist, Julia walked out of the doorway, looking tired. She brightened up when she turned and saw me walking down the corridor. She rushed up to hug me and ask me how I was. I told her I was fine.

 

“I can’t thank you enough, Lissa,” she said to me. “You put yourself in a huge amount of danger by going in there.” I glanced at the door. “He’s awake, you can go right in,” she followed my gaze to the door. “I was just going to get some coffee anyway.” She gave me a wink before walking away.

 

I had a staring contest with the door. I wasn’t cut out for situations like this, what was I supposed to say? I felt more nervous about walking in there to see Daniel than I did walking into that warehouse. I took a deep breath before finally pushing the door open.

 

He was sitting up slightly, looking tired, but looking like Daniel again. His eyes lit up when I walked through the door.

 

He grinned at me. “You could have brought flowers.”

 

“I saw some roses on the way in but I didn’t think they were your thing.” He laughed as I made my way over to the chair next to his bed and sat down. We locked eyes for a moment, neither of us knowing what to say. That’s when I noticed a book on the bedside table. I recognised it immediately because Adam had been carrying everywhere for the past month. I picked it up.

 

“How did you—“

 

“Adam came by this morning.” Daniel took the book out of my hands. “He told me everything.” I was going to kill Adam. “It’s kind of awesome, isn’t it?” He looked way from the book to look back at me.

 

“What?” I gaped at him. “Awesome? Do you have any idea what I’ve been going through since Halloween?”

 

“Why didn’t you just tell me?”

 

I narrowed my eyes at him. “Would you have believed me if I had told you that I’d been seeing glimpses of the future?”

 

His face grew serious. “I’d have known that you were telling the truth.” I believed him.

 

“Things might have been different, if I hadn’t have come to the warehouse,” I said quietly. I’d been thinking about that fact since I had gotten home from the hospital.

 

“It could have ended up worse,” he told me, sternly. “If you hadn’t of turned up, Derek could have killed me and he would have gotten away.”

 

“It tore him apart,” I told him, “your father. Seeing you like that.” Daniel looked down. “He could have ran away, escaped the police, but he didn’t. He stayed with you.”

 

He gave me a weak smile. “He finally did something right.” I reached out to take his hand in mine. He looked at the book that was still on the bed and then twisted his hand. “So, can you read palms?” He asked with gleaming eyes. I gave him a playful tap on the arm. “Don’t hit a man when he’s down.” he warned, still smiling at me.

 

He reached up to push a strand of my hair back behind my ear before cupping my face to bring my lips down to his. As I placed my other hand on the bed, I felt the book underneath my fingers. Although I’d felt nothing but resentment for those glimpses since that first time in my kitchen, I realised that I wouldn’t trade them for anything in the world. They were the reason that I was here now, in this moment. I had no idea what they meant or why they were happening to me, but they had led me to Daniel, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

 

***


Edited by KatieCakes, 12 July 2014 - 07:08 AM.

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