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Winters Warming

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#1 VABarnes

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Posted 15 October 2013 - 04:03 PM

Hi Guys!

 

So this is my first draft of my current project Winters Warming. As I just mentioned it is a First draft, I haven't yet fine tuned it so any grammar issues that slipped my attention the first time around will probably be on here, I apologise for that and hope you can look past it. (Even better if you spot any and want to give me a shout out that would be great.)

 

I'm going to do this post as you go so hopefully you will get as a minimum one upload a month, more if I stick on schedule. :)

I welcome all feedback as long as long as anything negative remains constructive, the more positive the better, as I'm sure everyone knows by now most writers are attention *hoarders* ( < I really wanted to write something else there :D )

 

There was a Book cover to join this but I cant figure out how to paste my image :/

 

First off here is my synopsis:

 

 

 

Winters Warming

 

 

A story revolving around the four sisters of the seasons, Winter in Particular, and her journey to save the world from falling into darkness.
The four sisters are:

Spring Evening

Summer Solstice

Autumn Wind

Winter Tundra.

 

The book focuses on Winter, who, over the years has grown cold and bitter because of the isolated life she lives.  She is jealous of her sisters and the happiness they have found in their lives, Springs level headed attitude towards everything and her assuredness in her direction in life. Summers pure enjoyment of chasing love and the elusive summer fling then finally Autumns ability to see the beauty in everything around her and pure outlook on everything around her.
Living alone in her barren castle Winter falls prey to the smooth talking Nightmare.

Nightmare, an evil man who controls the fear in the world, and revels in darkness wants Winter for himself. He sees her as his perfect partner and accomplice in creating a new world in which he reigns above all.

In a moment of rage, Winter reveals the last piece of the puzzle that Nightmare needs to make his plan a reality.

Horrified at what she has done Winter sets out to put a stop to Nightmare, finding an unrealised ally along the way.

The Huntsman, Holter, caretaker of land animals. The only man alive that can make even her icy blood boil.

It doesn’t help that he’s handsome enough to keep even Summers attention, and that his arrogant smile infuriates her about as much as making her stomach flip.

Setting out together to save the world as they know it Winter struggles to hide her part in the disaster, hide the secret visits that Nightmare is paying her in her dreams, and guard her heart unless she lose it to the wrong man.

 

 

Now here is Chapter One part One 

(the longer chapters will be put up in halves so I always have something to upload just in case I drop the ball and don't get as much written as hoped.)

 

Winters Warming

1

 

A Kingdom of ice and snow, that’s what I could see from the barren shell that I call a home, my castle of solitude, of loneliness. Full of empty rooms, there wasn’t even a mouse to creep along the walls. Just me alone here like it has been for years. I shouldn’t be surprised really, I am Winter after all, and who wants to spend time with the embodiment of all that is cold and desolate.

 

I should explain more, I am Winter Tundra, the caretaker of the season winter. One of four sisters, it’s obvious who the others are though isn’t it. Spring Evening, Summer Solstice, and Autumn Wind together with the help of the other caretakers we guide the seasons and keep the harmony of the world. It’s our responsibility to be generous and kind, cruel and brutal, you can guess who bares the most responsibility for the later of those examples.

However, once a year we stop, we gather and celebrate all that the world has given, a job well done. There is one caretaker nominated every year to host and prepare the gathering; you can probably guess by my lack of enthusiasm for it, that I have never been given the opportunity to be host to this magnificent event, However as I have already mentioned, who would want to gather in a kingdom of ice and snow.

Once again, it is Summer hosting the gathering, I can’t deny she does an amazing job, yet somehow that twists my stomach even more.

It’s always a huge affair, full of excitement and games, dancing and music, some have been known to last a week. Summer is particularly good at making the gathering so extravagant they last more than a day, not that I ever stay longer than what is polite, not since that, one time but I can’t bare to think of that anymore. It hurts to much, so I do what winter is best at doing, I shroud myself in ice so thick its impenetrable, metaphorically speaking obviously, and prepare myself to suffer another gathering of being unnoticed and unwanted.

 

Turning from the now frosted window I walk into my main living room, it must be one of the only rooms in the castle that looks habitable, cosy even if I do say so myself. Large walls of black stone with silver veins running through that glitter in the light from the fire, a grand fireplace decorated in carvings of snow bares. A fire blazed spilling out warmth to the room, illuminating even the darkest corners, making me want to miss the gathering all together and curl on the fur throws over the couch. Doing that however would bring Spring to my door step demanding answers, definitely a sisterly moment I would rather avoid, at any cost.

 

So instead, I don my thick travelling coat and leave my haven and prison behind.

The walk is brisk and I make good time, but then I’m breaking all the rules and using my powers for something other than my work. I’m sure I am not the only one who does, not that we would admit it to one another, but in general it’s a rather unenforceable law.

 

I can smell the bonfires already, the roasting pigs, and sweet pies; Summer prides herself on an abundance of food at her gatherings. It’s probably one of the only things I enjoy about going. I wasn’t that much further, but my pace had slowed considerably, dragging out the last moments before I have to join the festivities.

Stomach twisting and palms sweating I take a deep breath of the warm air natural to Summers Domain and step into the meadow.

 

I’m struck breathless at the sight of it, Summer had really surpassed herself this time, her meadow had been transformed into a wonderland. Hundreds of people gathered around the banquet of food, or dancing around the numerous bonfires dancing and singing. There was music to suit all tastes overlapping in a complementary fashion, from a slow melody to a fast dancing jig, entertainers moved from crowd telling stories juggling and singing. Lanterns of so many different colours were floating in the air giving the whole place an almost magical glow.

 

Hundreds of people enjoying the splendour, and yet, not even one of them had notice my arrival. Ironic really, not one of them has noticed I am here, but they would realise if I had never come.

Making my way through the crowds I find a place to sit a comfortable distance from the bonfire, on a fallen tree trunk I throw down my coat and sit on it, I look around feeling out of place and wondering what to do with myself.

 

I must have been sitting there a long time, I could feel my rear end getting numb, shifting I catch sight of him.

Holter the huntsman caretaker of all land animals, handsome and arrogant, the most infuriating man alive. I stood and watched him talking with Spring, bickering more like it, they weren’t more than two meters from me. It made my blood boil knowing that my own sister was that near and didn’t even register my presence.

Holters green eyes sparkled with mischief, his chiselled features complemented by the fire light, strong frame shaking with suppressed laughter. He was attracting more than just my attention just by standing there, he was like that though, women seemed drawn to him, animal magnetism.

Spring threw her white blond hair over her shoulder and jabbed her finger in his chest, some of what they were saying drifted over to me.

“Keep that mutt of yours away from my Pip!” spring said in her usual clipped voice. Mutt was referring to Holters rather large, extremely wrinkly, dog. More like guardian really, most caretakers had a guardian, an animal of some sort charged with their caretaker’s protection. They looked completely normal but had the ability to change into ‘true form’ a vicious and sometimes somewhat huge version of its self. Pip was my sisters’ guardian, a rather inconspicuous tiny little rabbit, which was currently sneaking up on Holters dog Budrick.

 

“Spring” I call closing the distance between us. I was ignored, the two of them just continued to bicker over their animals.

 

“Well, why don’t you get you poor excuse for a fluff ball to stop teasing a predator.”

 

Holter didn’t mean any insult to Pip, he didn’t have it in him to hate any animal.

 

Pip was dangerously close to taking a nice bite out of Budricks’ tail.

 

“Holter” I called trying again, without having any success at getting their attention. I was getting angry; I was no more than a foot away from them and didn’t even get so much as a glance.

 

“Hey!” I shouted a gust of ice wind circling the three of us. “Look.” I pointed at the two animals just as Pips jaws closed on an unaware Budrick.

 

Spring let out a squeak of panic and ran trying to catch a now sprinting Pip and the rather angry dog pelting after it.

It took me a moment to realise I was left standing alone with Holter, I hoped he didn’t see the brief flitter of panic that crossed my eyes, I took a deep breath and stood straighter turning to face the bonfire once more.

 

“So how have you been Winter?” Holter asked me, his voice a little deeper than usual, running one of his hands through his shoulder length sandy brown hair.

 

“Fine.” I replied simply.

“Look Winter about.”

“ We are never talking about it.” I cut across him sternly, turning to face him with an icy look. Hurt flickered behind his eyes, I couldn’t stand seeing it, I looked away again.

 

I walk away not knowing what else to do, missing the times when being near him was easy.

 

“You need a haircut.” I throw over my shoulder as a parting comment, his bark of laughter followed me as I left him there, and it almost warmed me.


 



 

So I really hope you enjoyed that :D looking forward to any feedback.
 

Vicky x

 


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#2 VABarnes

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Posted 16 October 2013 - 01:46 PM

Fudge bucket! Just realised that my spell check kept changing Holton's name to Holter :(

If fixed it on my draft and it won't be happening on any future posts. Sorry for not catching it sooner.

Will have the next half up in a couple of days, I'm working faster than expected this month.
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#3 BonkersBookworm78

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Posted 18 October 2013 - 01:14 PM

I absolutely adored the first line, it's so beautiful.

The whole concept of this is brilliant 

I really like the way you write, it's descriptive, but not wordy.

Re-reading this chapter, really made me want to read more.

It's enchanting and the characters are already sounding really interesting.

Please update soon.

Millie May


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#4 VABarnes

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Posted 23 October 2013 - 07:29 AM

I

I absolutely adored the first line, it's so beautiful.

The whole concept of this is brilliant 

I really like the way you write, it's descriptive, but not wordy.

Re-reading this chapter, really made me want to read more.

It's enchanting and the characters are already sounding really interesting.

Please update soon.

Millie May

 

Thank you so much for your comment :) Here's Part 2 as you asked :)

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter One Part Two

 

 

I spent the next hour wondering around watching the entertainers and picking at the food, the food was exactly what I would have expected of Summer, not enough seafood for my tastes though.

It was eerie that as I was thinking it Ephron, the caretaker of aquatic life, was booming out the same thing to the crowd of people surrounding him. I couldn’t help but grin, that was definitely going to draw Summers attention.

It was surprising how different two brothers could be, Ephron with his silver hair and chocolate eyes, he was the type of man who made his huge muscles and height look protective a gentile. The polar opposite to Holton, who was earthy and intimidating, whose green eyes could stop a man in his tracks through the raw power behind it.

 

 

Ephron had spotted me, he broke away from the group and next thing I knew he was by my side, strong arm crushing my slender frame to his chest.

 

“So how are you little sister?” he asked in a jovial tone, it was difficult to remember that he was married to my sister Spring, their personalities we so vastly different. Spring who was so level headed, sensible, parental. Whereas Ephron was every bit the mischief-maker, always in for every joke. Maybe that’s why they worked so well.

“You know cold as ever” I answered.

He raised an eyebrow at me, I’m sure he wanted to say something, out of everybody here I know that he would be the only one to know what had happened. Holton wasn’t the type of person to keep anything from his brother. Particularly not something like that, something that was bad enough to destroy our friendship, I just hope that Ephron was smart enough not to push the topic.

I didn’t get a chance to find out, a sing so voice was calling out from the crowd of people Ephron had just detached himself from.

“Who was complaining about my food?” Summer stood there, hands on hips golden hair flowing in the breeze, she was definitely the classic beauty out of the four of us. Golden hair and soft blue eyes, compared to springs white blonde-hair and brown, Autumns russet red with honey eyes and my own long wavy black hair and ice blue eyes.

She caught sight of us and came bounding over.

 

“Winnie!” she shouted scooping me into a hug. I cringed at the use of my knick name, none of the others had one, yet somehow I was lumped with one, Winnie of all things. It made me sound cute, and if winter was one thing, cute definitely was not it.

 

“Hey Summer” I choked.

 

“It’s so good to see you” she said quickly taking my arm and without waiting for a reply started to tell me all about what she had done since we last saw each other. I could scarcely understand a word she was saying she was talking that fast. 

 

I looked over my shoulder hoping that I would get some help from Ephron, he wasn’t standing there any more, when I looked back, I realised where Summer was taking me.

 

My other two sisters were sitting on the fallen log I had vacated earlier, my coat was still there, laying haphazardly across the bark. Autumn was talking quietly, a serine expression on her face, but then she was always like that. Nothing ever really fazed her, she was one of the most placid people I knew, that was probably why I got along with her best of all my sisters.

 

I could spend hours with Autumn without either of us saying a word, she never pried into my life or thoughts, yet somehow always knew what I needed.

 

“Look who I found.” Summer said in a singsong voice.

 

Autumn looked up at me with a warm smile and moved over making space for me to sit between her and Spring. Spring however looked at me with a tight smile, of all my sisters Spring and I got along the least. It wasn’t that we disliked each other, it was more that, we clashed.

 

Looking away from them both and towards the bonfire I realised that the wrestling games had started, they were always fun to watch, particularly because it didn’t involve talking bar the usual ‘didn’t see that coming’ or ‘that must have hurt.’

 

Well they were fun to watch until I realised that Holton was in the thick of it. Would I never escape the man? I had hardly been here, surrounded by these people a few hours and, already I longed for the lonely isolation of my castle. Would I feel better being here if I hadn’t seen Holton tonight? I doubt it, in a way it would feel worse.

 

There was only one thing I knew absolutely, winter was supposed to be left alone.

 

“So, Winter, still spending your free months alone in that castle.” Springs words cut me as good as a knife would have done. In my mind, winter may have to be left alone, but it didn’t mean I wanted to be. I just didn’t know how else to survive.

 

“Yes.” Was all I said not turning towards her, I couldn’t decide what was worse, looking at Spring or watching Holton fight and catching sight of his green eyes as he glanced over numerous times.

 

Holton did look magnificent, striped to the waist, muscles defined in the fire light.

 

“He is yummy isn’t he?” Summer sighed eyes never leaving Holton.

 

“Have you seen who else is here?” Autumn spoke softly, her words were for my attention only, so I leaned closer.

 

“Ephron?” I answered her just as quietly. She shook her head no, red hair dancing from side to side. I looked at her curiously and she motioned her head towards the tree line.

 

There standing in the shadows was Nightmare. I felt even my icy skin grow cold, Autumn shuddered beside me, and we shared a look. Nightmare never usually attended the gathering, he had every right to of course, being a caretaker he just never did.

 

He was a handsome yet horrifying man, tall and slender, dark hair that seemed to shift like shadows, and black eyes you could drown in. Not in the good way either, it was more like suffocating. His features looked like they were carved from stone they were sharp and angular, he was like something from a dream, no from a Nightmare.

 

“Now that’s a man who suits you Winter.” Spring said following the direction that Autumn and I were looking. “Add a little horror to the cold of your castle.”

 

“What is your problem tonight Spring?” I asked my voice a little sharp.

 

“My problem is you Winter, and the hefty amount of work you’ve been giving me every change over for years now, you realise how hard it is to bring spring with the amount of ice you leave behind?” She snapped at me eyes narrowed. “All because you’re sulking, but, no one can help you because you refuse to talk about it.”

 

“Spring” Autumn said warningly.

 

“No Autumn, she needs to hear this, don’t pretend you don’t feel the same way. She throws a tantrum meaning that you and Summer need to work twice as hard too.”

 

Summer turned her attention to the three of us, she looked between me and Spring glaring at each other and Autumn standing stiffly with her arms folded.

 

“She’s right Winter.” Summer said eyes downcast.

 

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing, how dare they, I was only doing what I always did. Winter was meant to be cold and harsh, I was the opposite of summer, it was her job to be the soft one. It wasn’t like I got a choice in the matter.

 

“Are you sure that you’re not meant to be the one who controls winter Spring?” The four of us jumped as Nightmare spoke, he seemed to have shifted out of the shadows, his face passive as he turned to Spring. “I’m just saying, because you certainly seem to be the cold sister of the four.”

 

If I wasn’t still trying to get my heart under control and my skin to stop crawling I’m sure my lips would have twitched.

 

“See like I said, perfect for you.” Spring said grabbing Summers hand and stalking off. Autumn still stood behind me, I could feel her shuddering, and I gave her a small smile letting her know she could leave. Soon enough I was standing there alone with Nightmare.

 

“You know I can’t help but enjoy shutting her up.” Nightmare said smoothly taking a seat and guiding me down with him. I physically shuddered at his touch, he raised one neatly shaped eyebrow. I avoided making eye contact.

 

He chuckled, it was a deep throaty sound.

 

“I think you’re the only one who can.” I said before thinking and immediately regretted it.

 

“Don’t be afraid to own your emotions Winter, it’s what will make you powerful.” He reached up and tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear. “Very powerful indeed” when he pulled back he held a flower in his hand, a black calla lily tipped in white, it looked like frost has stuck to the tips.

 

Nightmare leaned in close as if to whisper something into my ear but stopped abruptly. Holton pulled Nightmare to his feet, cold look in his eye, the two of them stood squaring off.

 

“Come on Nightmare, let’s have a match.” Holtons’ voice was almost a growl.

Nightmare removed his coat and rolled up his sleeves. The look in his eyes was frightening.

 

“If you insist” he said and motioned to the fighting area.

 

Shaking my head, I took hold of my coat and left, I knew how this would end. Nightmare would cheat, Holton would furiously demand a rematch with the rules enforced, and they wouldn’t stop until they were made to. I would never understand the male ego.

 

Walking into the shade of the trees I took one look back, both men were watching me, I turned from them and headed for home.

 

 

 

 

Hope you enjoyed that once again looking forward to any feedback x

 

Vicky x

 


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#5 BonkersBookworm78

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Posted 03 November 2013 - 10:22 AM

Winter is one of very few main characters who I can genuinely relate to. 

I adored some of the brilliant vocabulary you used and the length of your paragraphs made this chapter easy to read, but still amazing.

I found Spring a little irritating in the way she speaks to Winter.

Nightmare seems mysterious, creepy and charming to a certain extent, he is the character that I really want to read more about.

I liked the way Winter was wondering about alone at the beginning, this is one of the main reasons I instantly liked her.

The whole concept of this story is so good and so different as well, gosh I am beginning to adore this.

The caretakers certainly fight a lot.

As I am obsessed with eyes I thought it was cool how you described Nightmares eyes.

I also liked the way you described the black lily with the frost, it was beautiful.

My favourite part of the chapter by far was the conversation between Winter and Nightmare.

Another beautiful update (sorry if that sounded creepy.)

Sorry I had to comment in this format again and it took me so long to get round to commenting.

You deserve many more readers.

Please update soon .

 

Millie May


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#6 VABarnes

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Posted 07 November 2013 - 10:36 AM

Thank you so much for your comment it always makes me feel like what I'm doing is worth it when I hear from you :)

I should have the next update ready to go in the next few weeks.

Vicky x
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#7 BonkersBookworm78

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Posted 31 December 2013 - 08:53 AM

Thank you so much for your comment it always makes me feel like what I'm doing is worth it when I hear from you :)

I should have the next update ready to go in the next few weeks.

Vicky x

Please update soon, it's been almost two months and I can't wait. 

Please don't abandon this, it's too brilliant an idea to be abandoned.

Your writings too beautiful, I must read more.


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#8 VABarnes

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Posted 09 January 2014 - 12:17 PM

I'm so sorry my laptops in the shop being repaired I'm running off of my phone at the moment!

I promice you a nice really long long long update when I get it back x
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#9 BonkersBookworm78

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Posted 09 January 2014 - 12:58 PM

I'm so sorry my laptops in the shop being repaired I'm running off of my phone at the moment!

I promice you a nice really long long long update when I get it back x

It's okay, I just really didn't want you to give up on this, because it's so good . 

I look forward to reading it - no pressure though.


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