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#1 *<Alenaire>*

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Posted 25 December 2008 - 01:34 AM

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- All thanks to Stef for the banner above! -

Prologue▪

Her long black raven hair elegantly cascaded behind her back. Her ivory complexion contrasted to the dark shade that was her hair, making her even paler. Her eyes were like big blue marbles, and her lips were full and red. She walked with a tall, handsome man with olive skin, and long brown curly hair that he tied into a ponytail. He had long and curly eyelashes that you could see even from afar.


They looked like a picture taken from a fairytail book: the princess and her knight. With him standing beside her almost protectively, one would think that they were more than just friends.

Their friends walked behind them, talking and laughing. Other students stared at the group, reveling at how beautiful they all were. Envious glances were also turned to them.

Most of the stares were directed at the two people walking in front. They two of them were talking to themselves, seemingly detached from the rest of the group. Something that the guy said must have struck her funny bone, because she laughed. Some students smirked. They all knew too well of how loud her laugh was, and how boisterous they both were. They were so unlike their physical appearance.

Chapter 1

I checked myself in front of the long mirror I had in my room.

Black leather shoes with two-inch heels? Check. Knee-length black socks? Check. Short pleated skirt? Check. Long-sleeved white blouse with collar? Check. Navy blue cotton vest? Check. Yellow tie? Check.

Yes! I was ready for school. I smiled at myself in front of the mirror. I took my school bag, and ran down the stairs. My mother was probably at work already. My sister? Eh, probably still in her room. I hardly had a concrete conversation with her in centuries. My dad, on the other hand, passed away when I was just five. He was the former councilor of the town. He left little money for us (well, the money he had from being councilor). It sure didn't pay well, but it was enough to get us going. My mother was a housewife, but ever since dad died, she had to get a job to support us. She was working as a waitress in a nearby famous restaurant. I admired her perseverance.

I stepped outside of my house, and into the cool morning breeze. I saw Ren standing outside the gate with a grim face.

“Where’s your car?” I asked.

“Do you really expect me to be your driver everytime? It’s bad enough that I have to pick you up every morning.”

I gave him a peck on the cheek. I oozed with sweetness. “And I thank you for that.”

He rubbed the place where I kissed him with the back of his hand. He feigned disgust. “Let’s go. We’re gonna be late.”

We walked towards the train station, talking. Ren was my bestfriend. Well, I wasn’t quite sure what our relationship was exactly. Ren transferred during my first year of middle school. The teacher, knowing how overly friendly I was, instructed that I would guide him as the year progressed. Ever since then, we’ve been really good friends. Did that mean that we were bestfriends? Or did the title have to be mutually agreed upon?

Like always, I felt the stares of people burning on the side, back, front of my head. I felt an especially lewd stare coming from behind, and I clenched my fists. If that person with such perverted thoughts came so close as fifty meters, I was going to sharpen my teeth, and chew his head.

“Relax, K,” Ren said. He was smiling broadly. He definitely liked all the attention from the girls. His hair wasn’t in a ponytail today, and he shook his head, his shoulder-length hair flying all over the place. While others thought what he did was sexy, it was disgusting for me.

“Whatcha doin?!” I exclaimed, perturbed. His hair was annoying my face. Then something struck me funny. “You look like some model—“

He smiled at me, his pearly whites shining (yeah right). “I know.”

“—in some Head and Shoulders commercial.” I guffawed. “Like your dandruff's falling. Or better yet, you’re so happy that you don’t have dandruff that you’re acting like a horse whinnying under the sunlight with its mane—“

He pinched my arm. “Shut up!”

I heard a woman whisper. “He has dandruff?” Then I heard a bunch of girls speak. “That’s such a turn-off.” “Is dandruff, like, contagious?” “That’s too bad.”

Oopsies. So maybe I was a little too loud.

“Kiri!” he looked outright irritated. I smiled sheepishly. He took my wrist, and headed into the open doors of the train. Was it bad that I didn’t feel any guilt? No. It wasn’t. BWAHAH. Well, it wasn’t my fault he tried to act like a horse.

After we took off from the train, we were running towards the school gates. Our breaths were ragged. We managed to participate in our morning assembly in the quadrangle, though. I was glad.

Mimi and Cherry gave me wide-eyed stares. Ren and I were never late. Well, that was because we had a car then. I breathed in and out, my chest heaving. Apparently, I lacked stamina. I was still heaving even after we said our school vows and sang our hymn. Our principal was now stating the morning announcements.

“Are you okay?” Lolly asked me from behind. Her long oval-shaped fingernails stabbed me on the neck. Her nails were a threat to humanity. “You look haggard, as if you joined a marathon.” She turned to look at Ren, who looked completely fine, curse him. “You need to exercise more, love.”

I nodded my head slowly. Then I saw this huge bee hovering above me. It was buzzing like crazy, as if it was taunting me. What bee buzzes like crazy? Definitely this one.

“AGHHHHHHHHHHHH,” I shouted. I was prepared to attack the crazy bee with the heel of my shoe, but I noticed that the principal had stopped talking to look at me. That was the first thing I noticed. The second thing I noticed was that everyone was staring at me with my shoe clutched in one hand. I waved my shoe at the principal. “Proceed, proceed, sir!” There was a chorus of laughter. I felt slightly mortified, but the principal continued with his morning speech anyway.

“Cherry, Lolly, Mimi?” Ren said. “Remember to gag Kiri whenever you see that mischievous bee.”

“Roger!” The three of them said, acting all military-like.

“Oh, don’t listen to the head-and-shoulders guy,” I said, crossing my arms against my chest.

Cherry looked at me askance. “I don’t get it.”

“Me neither,” Mimi said. “This is a personal joke, ain’t it.”

I clasped my hands together in excitement. “So I’ll tell you!”

“Kiri!” Ren said threateningly.

“Ok, so, we took the train awhile ago, right? And then—“ My voice was inching higher and higher. Oh how exciting it was to deliberately bestow humiliation on others (others: Ren). Ren was heading towards me, his eyes menacing. I could just imagine his hands having claws that would rip me apart. Oh, did I just see him grow a fang or two?

“KIRI!” The principal hollered on the michrophone. “How many times have you disrupted the morning assembly, and my announcements? I tried to let you off before, but I will not tolerate this any longer. Who are the rest of your conspirators?”

Cherry, Lolly and Mimi turned bug-eyed on me. They practically cowered behind the pillar. I pointed at Ren. “Him, sir. He’s my accomplice.”

Now it was Ren’s turn to look bug-eyed. It was such a fascinating sight.

“Detention for you two. For a whole month,” the principal said.


=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Hi guys! I'm writing another story. For those who wanted me to finish Jakome Academy, I'm so sorry >__< I'm putting that on hold for awhile until I come up with better ideas for it. Right now, I'm starting on this story, which I hope to finish this Christmas break xD weee! lol. I'm going to write 10 pages for it everyday, so I'll make sure to gain 100+ pages before school starts again. C: Well, I hope you like it!

Edited by Ari-san, 16 January 2009 - 11:15 PM.
Banner added; Banner credit check

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#2 mychemro*kiss*

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Posted 25 December 2008 - 02:39 AM

Woooow, her mom DOES seem like she's really strong. The way the prologue was, you'd NEVER think that the rest of the story was like this... I likey, anyway. ACK!Don't bring up Jackome! I still sob over such a loss of an amzing story. *chokes back tears* 10+ pages per DAY! *low whistle* That's a pretty bold goal... *trails off* Well ,this seems cool, and I agree that they ARE different than the way they look on the outside. And Ren needs to cut his hair. Immediately.

*starts club*

Welcome to the CHOP-IT-ALL-OFF-NOW-REN club! Admission is free! All we ask is that you support in the whole chop that mess off thing.

Haha

Ick, I hate boys with long hair...

Jess the Shocker :blink:
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#3 *<Alenaire>*

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Posted 25 December 2008 - 08:19 AM

LOL.

What did you think the story was like when you read the prologue? xD Some really boring story about two perfect people, I bet (not my type of story to make).

And yeah, Ren's hair is too...>__< maybe because it's curly. I imagined a straight-haired Ren, but then I had to make it curl. I wanted his hair to be just like mine, lol. Don't worry, I was planning for him to shave it off in the future ;p just anticipate that.

*huggles Jess* Yay! First reader! I'm so happy you're still reading what I'm writing, though I had to cut off Jakome. I think I was searching for it like, 2/3 months ago, and then I found out it'd been deleted! Great was my sorrow *tear* But then I hadn't updated it in months so it was expected. I kinda forgot what it was all about though T__T. And I forgot how I wanted it to end, or how I resolved the conflict. TT__TT It's all because of schmool. -______-" I opened the document of Jakome awhile ago, and saw that it had 119 pages! O__O And it was just starting! How on earth did I manage to that? ><

Much ♥,
Tanya

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#4 *<Alenaire>*

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Posted 25 December 2008 - 09:15 AM

We were in the detention room, and Ren had his head in his hands. “All this because of a stupid bee.” He said ‘bee’ with much venom. “And of course, you, who wrongly accused me of petty misdemeanor.”

“Stop using such pretty, deep words,” I said. Me feet were planted on the desk in front of me, and I was balancing my weight on the two legs of my chair. “My head would hurt.”

“You’re supposed to be a role-model for the younger kids, ya know.” He still had his head in his hands.

“Why?”

“Why not?”

“I asked you ‘why?’ not why not.” I was being insistent on this matter.

“I’m saying why not.”

“Yeah? Well, I’m asking you why.” The side of my face was turned away from him, so I didn’t see if he actually lifted his head up in frustration. But I was betting he did.

“You’re stubborn, did you know that?” he said. He sounded exasperated.

“All too well, my boy.” My chair teetered, and my heart almost jumped out of my chest in fright. But I held on to the windowsill that was just beside me.

“That’s karma, my girl.” He had on an infuriating smirk.

I stood up from my chair, and paced around the room. It was only Ren and I who were trapped in the detention room. Our proctor was gone to God knows where. He was probably having his afternoon coffee. The private school we were studying in didn’t have that much students. We were slightly more than two hundred in population. But that was just the highschool population.


We had another building for middle school, and grade school. But it was quite far from the highschool campus. The Laurente Academy occupied a large expanse of land, and we had a building made for the cafeteria, and library. They were both buildings attached to the rear end of the highschool campus. A garden was also built in commemoration of the principal’s late daughter, Anna. The detention room overlooked the garden; the only redeeming feature of this blasted hellhole.

“Hey R, where’s Jed and Phil?” I asked, turning around. I felt my skirt swirl around my thighs.

Ren was scrutinizing a fingernail. “Well K, they’re probably doing student council stuff. You know they’re busy preparing for the school festival.”

“Wow, must be tough being the President and Vice-president of the school,” I said in awe.

Jed and Phil were our friends. Jed was the president of the student council, whereas Phil was the vice president. They probably won because Ren and I endorsed them to our endearing fans. That was why they had won against the seniors. The seniors were frighteningly angry that juniors won, and said that there was bribery in the works. Oh c’mon. Bribery? More like charm. Something that they didn’t have in their campaign. Besides, I thought that Jed and Phil were great partners. They were funny, smart, handsome, and athletic. Although they were hardly known before the campaign, their looks weren’t left unnoticed. That’s what usually caught the girls attention. Right now, because of the many successful projects they both planned, they earned a lot of support from the whole highschool; albeit envious glances from seniors.


I peeped at my watch. It was already five. We were out for detention! I looked at the empty teacher’s chair, and frowned. We couldn’t go unless the teacher was there to dismiss us.

“Don’t forget to clean my room before we have dinner,” Ren reminded me.

I was actually his personal maid. To limit our household expenses, I freeload off of Ren, whose wealth was slightly more than abnormal. I always had my dinner in his house ever since middle school. Because I didn’t have time to get a part-time job, I became Ren’s ‘maid’. The fact that he pays me more than I actually work for made me feel guilty. I think that he deliberately soils his room in order for me to clean something; so I’d have a reason to receive my monthly fee. Ren wasn’t the dirty type of guy, after all.

Another reason why I go to his house everyday (mostly weekdays) was because he tutors me. The only explanation as to why I could ever afford such a handsome private school was that I had a full-time scholarship. It was because of him that I got the scholarship. Now, the only expense I was worried about was my sister’s tuition fee. My mother couldn’t possibly pay it all alone. Because of the money Ren pays me for my ‘services’, she could go to this private school. That’s why I was secretly indebted to him. I wouldn’t tell him this though, because it would just make his head more swollen than it already was.

“Aye, aye,” I replied. I sat back on the chair, and rested my head against the table. I eventually fell asleep.
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#5 ~book_worm~13

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Posted 25 December 2008 - 11:21 AM

O.o

*NEW READER*

I like!!!!

I can't wait to read more!


:krakrani: Yz

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#6 steffykins xx3

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Posted 25 December 2008 - 02:17 PM

New reader :D

I love it so far.

It's interesting and full of LOVELINESS!

Update soon :D

-Stef
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#7 *LaLa giRrrL*

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Posted 25 December 2008 - 06:33 PM

New Reader!
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#8 *<Alenaire>*

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Posted 25 December 2008 - 09:01 PM

Someone nudged me on the arm. I woke up immediately. “Ew,” Ren said gay-ishly. “Drool. And the crowd goes ‘ahhh!’”

“Shut up.” I quickly wiped the drool from my mouth.

“The teacher was here to dismiss us an hour ago, but you just kept on snoring. I had a hard time waking you up, and even contemplated on throwing you outside the window. Your snore kept me company though. I felt like I was on a cruise, hearing the ship’s roar like “PBOOOT”, “PBOOOT”; only it was mixed with a pinch of mucus stuck in your throat. What a lovely sound.” He was sarcastic, as usual.

“Ha ha,” I said, rolling my eyes. “So very funny. I’m dying of laughter.” I combed my long hair with my fingers, and tidied my uniform.

“As you wondered, my car’s here,” Ren said. “It was just having its monthly check up with its doctor.”

“Oh how wonderful,” I said, putting on an animated voice.

“I’m so pleased you’re so excited.”

“Oh how I’m happy to see that you’ve seen through me once again." I paused for awhile. "When will you ever lose that uncanny ability?” Now this was a real inquiry. It sometimes made me startled whenever he'd figured me out.

Ren shrugged. “Don’t think I ever will.”

We walked briskly towards Ren’s shiny black Ford Focus. We both slid in the passenger seat, and greeted Mr. Black (Ren and I called him that, but his name was actually Steffen). Mr. Black was his family’s chauffeur, and a very loyal and trustworthy employee of the Vi Lumnare household. I liked how kind he looked. He was semi-bald, and was over fifty. He had a kind smile, and a nice countenance. However, despite his old age, he was a skilled fighter. He’s a top-notch bodyguard, he was. He actually had a small gun in his trousers pocket, and a penknife hanging from his breast pocket. He had a lot of secret weapons stashed in anonymous places inside the vehicle. He had to have a lot of weapons, though. This was all in order to protect the youngest son of the CEO of the Vi Lumnare company, the company which had hold over more than sixty percent of the world’s diamonds.

Cool, eh? Not to mention his mother was a famous Mexican singer and actress, and his older brother was a famous novelist, and a Hollywood scriptwriter. Talk about having famous relatives, and abnormal wealth. Hell, he could be swimming in a pool of melted gold for all we know! There was no wonder he could pay me five hundred bucks a month for my inconsequential services.

I looked out the glass, and saw that we were entering Villa Adlene: the subdivision for the rich and famous (it was built near the coast). This was where Ren’s house was. His house was on the very top--indicates how very rich he was, and it overlooked the sea.

Moments later, we were in front of Ren’s house…er…mansion. Tall, stonewalls covered the mansion from our sight. Really, like they needed anymore protection. Even Ren’s maids could do a triple flip, and throw you (unsuspectingly) with needles. It was kinda scary yet cool at the same time.

There was a sensor fixed on the gate, so it would read the plate number. There was something in the plate number that was unique, so that no one else could copy it, and use it to open the gate. I’ve always wondered what that thing was because, basically, I didn’t think there was anything different with the plate number. The only thing that was different was that the letters in the plate number spelled out R-E-N. And I think Ren did that deliberately.

The gate opened, and I saw the mansion. Even though I’d seen it everyday, it still made me fascinated and enthralled. His house was an Old Spanish colonial mansion. It was huge and it didn’t look like a house. It looked like a resort. There were coconut trees planted everywhere, and they had a gigantic pool with a waterfall. His mansion looked so green with all the plants around. As if that weren’t enough, they had built a garden at the back of the mansion, filled with roses and whatnot. They even had a separate building built for the family’s maids, butler and chauffeurs. And each of their rooms had big flat screen TV’s complete with a surround system, and flat screen computers. I visited their quarters once, and I found that their building was twice as big as my house. And they were just house helps! (bodyguard-like house helps). I wish I were their maid. I’d be living in ecstasy. Too bad they wouldn’t employ me though. I wasn’t all pro like them.

Ren’s mother greeted me with a neck-breaking hug. “Darlings! I’ve missed you both.” She kissed both my cheeks, and proceeded to kiss Ren’s cheeks. Ren, who could not deny his mother’s affections, turned his head for her to kiss his cheek.

Leonora was his mother’s name. But ever since middle school, she insisted that I called her ‘mom’. And so mom it was. I hadn’t seen her in weeks, particularly because she was recording her new album in LA. Every chance she could get off work, she would quickly fly here, and stay for as long as she could to be with her sons, and husband. Ren was a mama’s boy, a true mama’s boy. Even when I’d tease him for being one, he’d just laugh. He didn’t get insulted in the least. It actually made him happy.

“Darling Kiri, have you and Ren become lovers now?” Leonora whispered in my ear. She had a huge smile.

“Not in the least,” I replied. Leonora, for some reason, had always pushed Ren and I together. She had always reminded me that I should be her daughter-in-law. I kept denying her that.

Leonora pouted, and sighed audibly. “Will you ever come to love him as a woman loves a man?”

My eyes widened. NO-OO. That would never happen. “Sorry, but I don’t think that’ll happen.”


Ren, who was busy talking to Mr. Black, heard our conversation. He strolled to where we were, and kissed the top of my head. It made Leonora squeal in excitement. She bounced back inside the mansion to give us space. This was Ren's tactic, to make his mother pull away from me.

“Ugh,” I grunted. I pulled a disgusted face.

Ren laughed. “That actually becomes you!”

I ignored him, and went up to his room. His room was a serious mess. It looked like a bunch of monkeys came and ransacked it. Well, I shrugged, they were of the same species after all.

I picked up a sock lying on his king-sized bed. Dear God, it stunk to the high heavens!

I looked back at Ren, who was leaning against the doorway. He smiled his big white toothy animal-like grin. “Be down in time for dinner.” And he left, whistling. I wanted to throw the sock at his face and see his reaction, but then I remembered how much he was paying me. I sighed. This was worth the dough. I was determined to make his room squeaky clean and smelling of flowers (not socks) when he returned.

I suddenly turned to the bathroom. The half-open door gave me a foreboding feeling. I gulped. I shook my head to clear out any apprehensions. This was the only thing I was better at than Ren: housework. I had to make the most of it.

I took all of the cleaning supplies out of the closet, and prepared to do the bathroom first. I was about to go inside with my mop and bucket, when Al appeared at the doorway. Al was one of the male servants in the household, and the youngest. He was merely twenty, yet his skills in both cleaning and fighting were outstanding. He was tall, and had kind eyes. I liked people who had kind eyes.

“Cleaning again, miss?” Al said. A small smile tugged at his lips. I didn’t like how he always addressed me as ‘miss’. I had a name, you know.

“Er—yeah.” I laughed. “Cleaning the bathroom is so scary.”

“Do you want me to help you?” he asked. There must be something manipulative about his kind eyes, because I almost felt bad for not accepting his offer.

“No, it’s ok. Thanks anyway.” Then I had an idea. “Oh I know! Just stay in the room, and if something bad happens that would leave me immobile, you can help me then.”

Al bowed. “Of course.” He stood behind me.

I slowly kicked open the door of the bathroom. The bathroom was the size of my bedroom. A large tub was at the end of the room, and there was a different stall for the shower. One whole side of the wall was a mirror. And then my eyes focused on the toilet bowl. There was something floating in the water.

I screamed my butt off.

Al hurriedly closed the toilet seat, and flushed it away. I heard Ren chortle in the hallway.

I sank to my knees. It was okay to see my own &#*$, but others *#%^?! It was abominable!

“Are you okay, miss?” Al helped me up.

“Uh—yeah. Fine as hell,” I muttered. Damn Ren and his pranks. He knew damn well that I couldn’t stand seeing that horrible thing!

“Do you want me to get you some water? Or juice?” Al looked at me with eyes full concern.

Just then, I heard heavy footsteps coming from Ren’s bedroom. “Darling! Darling!” It was Leonora, and her voice was shrilly. She peeped in the bathroom, and saw me. She hugged me so hard, I almost couldn’t breathe. “Are you okay?! Ren pulled a prank again, didn’t he? I’ll make sure he gets what he deserves.”

I faked a laugh. “No, I’m fine. Really, it’s okay. I’ll start cleaning now.”


Leonora frowned. “Are you sure you want to do this, darling? You don’t have to do this, you know. If you wanted, we could pay all your living expenses, and your sister’s tuition. You needn’t have to work this hard. We wouldn’t even want you to pay us back.”

I was appalled. “No! That’s too much—really too much! I can’t do that! I’m not that thick-faced as to accept more of your generosity. I’m already such a nuisance by freeloading. You’ve done a lot for me that I’m indebted to you.”

I was more indebted to them than I realized. I’ve been spending more time with their family than my own. They feed me, clothe me, and invite me to social and private gatherings as if I was their own daughter!

“Nonsense!” Leonora said. Then she smiled mischievously. Oh no, what was in her mind?! “Now that I think of it, we should pay all your expenses!”

My mouth gaped open. “Mother, no!”

“Yes!” she clapped her hands gleefully. “Why didn’t I think of this before?” She looked pleased with herself.

Ren appeared at the doorway of the bathroom. “Don’t do it, mother!”

Leonora turned her head sharply in his direction. “Why not?”

“Because she can’t be my personal maid anymore,” was all he said.

Leonora rolled her eyes. “I don’t want her in this house as your maid, Renaldo.” Then she looked at me, and held both my hands in hers. “Yes! This is perfect. I shall oversee all your expenses now, and contact the banks.”

I stuttered. “B-but how can I repay you?”

Leonora’s eyes lighted. “By marrying my son!” was what she was thinking, I bet. But she didn’t say that. And instead, she said, “by staying with us everyday.” Like I didn’t already.

“This is just too much,” I said. I shook my head. I couldn’t accept this!

Leonora’s eyes sparkled with tears. Was she crying because I didn’t accept her proposal? Damn! I didn’t want to make her cry. Leonora was like my second mother, and I loved her as much as I loved my own.

“Okay, okay, I accept,” I said hastily, patting her shoulder. Then she smiled at me, her tears miraculously gone.

Ren heaved a big sigh. “She was acting, stupid. Don’t forget she’s an actress,” he told me.

I gawked at Leonora. She made me take the bait! How conniving she was! She stuck her tongue out at me like a kid. “Too late, you accepted.”

She gaily went out of the room, humming.

“Guess you don’t have to clean for me, anymore,” Ren said. He pulled the mop away from my hands, and took the bucket. He gave it to Al.

Ren laughed. “Now I don’t need to make my room messy for your sake.”

I held on to Ren’s arm for support. “I can’t believe I was deceived by your mother!”

Ren shrugged. “She deceives people all the time.”

“Because of your mother’s terms, I’m going to have to be with your family for the rest of my life!”

We sat on his bed. He said, “Is that bad?”

I thought about it. “No, actually.”

“See?” he smiled.

I sighed, defeated. “I can actually imagine both of us old and grey, with wrinkles on our foreheads.” I pointed at mine. “And saggy arms.” I jiggled my arm. “And hunched backs.” I hunched my back.

Ren hooted. “You’re defining yourself!”

“Shut up, you!” I laughed, and threw his pillow at him. We were having a pillow fight, and his already messy room became messier.


-=-=-=-=-


O_O. Too. Much. Updates.

I've got to stop this >__< Now there won't be any extra pages anymore! T_T I'm heading South today, but I'm going to bring my laptop so I can finish this story. lol. I'm freakishly determined ha ha.

*glomps all new readers*

Much ♥,
Tanya

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#9 *LaLa giRrrL*

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Posted 25 December 2008 - 09:20 PM

OH MY how i love rens mother! haha
your updates are amazing and you should continue updating frequently :eusa_clap:
that is all :D
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#10 steffykins xx3

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Posted 25 December 2008 - 10:42 PM

O_O. Too. Much. Updates.

I've got to stop this >__< Now there won't be any extra pages anymore! T_T I'm heading South today, but I'm going to bring my laptop so I can finish this story. lol. I'm freakishly determined ha ha.

*glomps all new readers*



How much have you written already?

I LOVE THESE UPDATES.

KEEP 'EM COMING.

:D

-Stef
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#11 mychemro*kiss*

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Posted 26 December 2008 - 03:52 AM

LOL.

What did you think the story was like when you read the prologue? xD Some really boring story about two perfect people, I bet (not my type of story to make).

And yeah, Ren's hair is too...>__< maybe because it's curly. I imagined a straight-haired Ren, but then I had to make it curl. I wanted his hair to be just like mine, lol. Don't worry, I was planning for him to shave it off in the future ;p just anticipate that.

*huggles Jess* Yay! First reader! I'm so happy you're still reading what I'm writing, though I had to cut off Jakome. I think I was searching for it like, 2/3 months ago, and then I found out it'd been deleted! Great was my sorrow *tear* But then I hadn't updated it in months so it was expected. I kinda forgot what it was all about though T__T. And I forgot how I wanted it to end, or how I resolved the conflict. TT__TT It's all because of schmool. -______-" I opened the document of Jakome awhile ago, and saw that it had 119 pages! O__O And it was just starting! How on earth did I manage to that? ><

Much ♥,
Tanya


I don't know. It seemed like a... I can't describe it. Kind of a supernatural feel. Like Twilight gave me that feel when I read the first chapter, even before I knew all the hype.

You DO Update a lot. Jeez, girl. I can barely read it fast enough. :P

Haha, no keep on updating! They're always really good.

Jess the Shocker :blink:
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#12 *<Alenaire>*

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Posted 26 December 2008 - 05:36 AM

OH MY how i love rens mother! haha


lol. I wish my future husband's mother was like that! It would make things easier, ha ha.

How much have you written already?


Okay, right now, I'm on my 38th page, and I'm tempted to paste them all on this thread here, lol. >__< But I ain't gonna do that yet.

I don't know. It seemed like a... I can't describe it. Kind of a supernatural feel. Like Twilight gave me that feel when I read the first chapter, even before I knew all the hype.


Oooh Twilight. x) I should read that again. I read it like, 2/3 years ago :/ *sigh* People've been borrowing my Twilight books and not returning it. How annoying! And they're like freshmen, and though I lent it to them, we're not really close. I want to get it from them, but I don't like forcefully taking things from people. And most of 'em haven't even finished the book yet! UGH. Seriously. I lent it to them like, 3-4 months ago. -___-"

Anyway, I've just noticed how weird I write. (off-topic: My friends' lil' kid IS SO ADORABLE!! She keeps on staring at me and smiling--or laughing! She even offered me some bread though she'd never give any to others.)<--sorry about that. I just had to write that down, lol. Okay, I just re-read my story 'till page 38, and noticed how my sense of humor is totally...weird. O_O. Don't you guys think so too? lol. But then, if my sense of humor is weird, then that would mean I'm weird! 'Cause I actually take the stuff I'm writing from experience...Eh...*shrugs* Nevermind...I'm getting myself confuzzled. @__@

Much ♥,
Tanya

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#13 ~book_worm~13

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Posted 26 December 2008 - 12:26 PM

Oooh Twilight. x) I should read that again. I read it like, 2/3 years ago :/ *sigh* People've been borrowing my Twilight books and not returning it. How annoying! And they're like freshmen, and though I lent it to them, we're not really close. I want to get it from them, but I don't like forcefully taking things from people. And most of 'em haven't even finished the book yet! UGH. Seriously. I lent it to them like, 3-4 months ago. -___-"



First of all, I LOVED THE UPDATE!
Their so cute together! It's obvious that Ren loves her, she's just to blind to see it.
His mom is really funny too!!!!

And oh goodness! People are always borrowing my Twilight books too!!!! I hate it! The one girl I let borrow Twilight BROKE THE SPINE! She dropped it and it cracked, and she refused to replace it!
Gosh! I hate that everyone is suddenly Twilight crazy though, I started reading it when if first came out, and everyone I tried to turn on to it was like, nooo. I don't like it! but now because of the movie and how hot Robert Pattison is, their like, I LOVE IT, oh my god!

Ah!
But anyway!

I SERIOUSLY CAN'T WAIT FOR AN UPDATE!
I MIGHT DIE IF I DON'T GET ONE SOONNNN


:krakrani: Yz

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#14 *<Alenaire>*

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Posted 26 December 2008 - 05:05 PM



First of all, I LOVED THE UPDATE!
Their so cute together! It's obvious that Ren loves her, she's just to blind to see it.
His mom is really funny too!!!!

And oh goodness! People are always borrowing my Twilight books too!!!! I hate it! The one girl I let borrow Twilight BROKE THE SPINE! She dropped it and it cracked, and she refused to replace it!
Gosh! I hate that everyone is suddenly Twilight crazy though, I started reading it when if first came out, and everyone I tried to turn on to it was like, nooo. I don't like it! but now because of the movie and how hot Robert Pattison is, their like, I LOVE IT, oh my god!

Ah!
But anyway!

I SERIOUSLY CAN'T WAIT FOR AN UPDATE!
I MIGHT DIE IF I DON'T GET ONE SOONNNN


:krakrani: Yz


I know, right? People are going crazy over Twilight. Can you believe even the younger kids are acting out Twilight, like in that baseball scene (I forgot what it was called), and they were like, "I'm Jasper!" "I'm Alice!" "I'm yadda yadda yadda". I couldn't help but roll my eyes at that.

Anyway, since I don't want you to die soon, lol, I'm going to post an update xD (Though I still haven't made progress since the 38th page). We're going on a roadtrip again, so I don't think I can make much progress at all. But I'm going to pick the story up again once we reach our destination.

Glad you guys like it! :D

Much ♥,
Tanya

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#15 *<Alenaire>*

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Posted 26 December 2008 - 05:45 PM

Chapter Two


While Ren and I were playing Tekken in his living room, Emilio arrived from work. Emilio was Ren’s older brother. Like Ren, he was tall and had olive skin and curly dark brown hair (though his was cropped short). But Emilio’s eyes were brown, just like their mother’s. Ren had moss green eyes just like their father’s. For me, it was weird that Ren had green eyes. It was such a contrast to his skin. But nevertheless, he had pretty eyes, though he didn’t posses the kind eyes I liked in people.

Emilio walked in the living room, and asked, “Where’s father?”

“Las Vegas,” Ren replied, concentrating on beating Asuza, my Tekken character. He was good. But I was better!

I felt Emilio’s eyes fix on me. “Kiri! You’re here!”

“I’m always here,” I said distractedly.

Emilio sunk into a nearby couch, and said, “I’ve been gone for three days. I’ve missed Kiri.”

Then I recalled a flashback. It was during the second year of middle school. Emilio was a senior in highschool. I didn’t have middle school in the Laurente Academy, but at a school near my house. It was not that high-class, but it was private, and we could afford it. Ren became my classmate. His family could have easily afforded him going to Laurente Academy, but they weren’t informed that the school had a separate building for the middle-schoolers. Anyway, what I remembered wasn’t that. It was when Emilio suddenly pledged his undying love to me (okay, so maybe undying love was too strong a word)! Though I had tons of guys confessing to me, it shocked me that Emilio, my friend’s older brother, would confess.

Frankly, I didn’t know what to say. This was a different matter entirely. I had boys I didn’t know confess to me, but Emilio became a dear friend. How was I going to reject him? I didn’t want to break his heart. I was more considerate towards my friends than towards people I hardly knew. I told him that I was going to think about it. And he’s been waiting patiently ever since. I was giving him hope when I shouldn’t have. It was wrong of me, and I wanted to tell him that I didn't have any intention of being his girlfriend, but the right time never came.

I’ve never had a crush before, nevermind a lover. Before I met Ren, all that occupied my head was my family. I had to study hard to make my mother happy. I had to save the money that my mother gave me as an allowance in order to buy her and my sister gifts during special occassions. But things were easier now, seeing that Leonora paid for all our living expenses. All I had to do was study hard to keep my scholarship. I was so happy when I saw my mom open my card, and look at the straight A’s. She looked so proud of me, I felt my heart burst with joy.

Which reminded me…

“Ren!” I stood up from the couch, holding his psp in one hand. Ren was visibly startled. Then he was annoyed.

“What? I almost beat your character.”

“We have to study!” I said.

“You’ve always been studying, Kir, take a break,” Emilio said.

“I just remembered there was a Math test on phase shifts and vertical shifts on Thursday!” I said.

Ren groaned. “Can’t you study tomorrow?”

“No, I can’t,” I said. I looked at my watch. It was eight-thirty. “We still have time! You know how difficult it is to teach me Math.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know,” Ren said.

I waved goodbye at Emilio as we left the living room.

Just as I suspected, Ren’s room was squeaky clean. All his clothes were kept away, and his books were stacked neatly on his study table. His bed was folded neatly, and the pillows that we used in our former pillow fight were back to where it belonged. The stain on his Muslim patterned comforter was gone. There were no traces of cookie crumbs in his rug anywhere! And his room smelled like turpentine.

There was a short, circular wooden table in the middle of his room, and he squatted on one end. I took out my books from my bag (I had left it in his room), and scattered them across the table.

“So what am I going to teach you for today aside from phase shift?” he asked.

“You can teach me Chemistry, too.” I clapped my hands, ready to be taught.

It took him a long time to get me to understand Math. I couldn’t understand how to graph it in the first place. Why was there a phase shift anyway!? Ugh, how I hated Math. I didn't think I'd need to know how to graph when I'd total my future living expenses, or cook, or clean, or do the laundry, or tidy my hair, or--yeah. You get my point.


An hour and a half passed, and I got it eventually. Ren was the best teacher in the world, after all.

I wondered why he didn't show his smarts in class, so I asked him, “Why don’t you show how smart you are in class?”

"There’s no need,” he replied.

“What do you mean there’s no need?” I was quite put off by his answer.

“I mean, I don’t need to study. I can get whatever grade I want anyway because I know what I’m going to be when I grow up. I’m going to succeed my father’s business. I don’t need any specific qualifications for that, just my father's approval--and he knows how capable I am. I don’t have to be smartest in math or whatever, unlike you, who has to prepare yourself for the course of your choice in college. I don’t need to show the teachers or our classmates how good I am in math, or chemistry, or—“

“Or everything,” I butted in. He looked smug.

“Yeah. Well, either way, I don’t have to show it, do I? There really is no need. It would just be a waste of my time. Besides, tutoring you is difficult enough, though I get to study because of you too.”

“Smarty-pants,” I muttered under my breath. Ren kept on looking smug. How could he be so smart?! He didn’t even have to study to get good grades. All the things that the teacher had discussed, was already imprinted in his big brain. Not like me, who had to work hard every night just to get the discussion. And I only ever understood the discussion when Ren would teach me. Oh woe is me! I was always relying on Ren. What would become of me when he's gone?

“I was home-schooled during elementary,” he said, intruding my thoughts.

“Home-schooled?!” I repeated more vigilantly.

He smiled thoughtfully. “Yeah. Home-schooled. It’s not as bad as you think. You were my first friend in middle school. Kind of like my first friend since ever.”

"I can't believe we held hands, and linked elbows during that time! How gross." I visibly shuddered.


“Gross, you say, but you were the first one who started it. I was forced to succumb to it! But then, you were so much cuter back then.” His lower lip jutted out, expressing his phoney sadness. He closed the textbook, and began to insert books and notebooks back into my bag. After he finished, I stood, and got my bag from his fingers. I patted him on the head like a dog. I liked the feel of his curly hair beneath my fingers.

“Well, thank you for your time again,” I said cheerfully. “I’d better go and take the last train. It’s super late.”

“Mr. Black can drop you off,” Ren suggested. “He always does.”

“Naw, it’s okay,” I said, and walked out the door.

I was going down the wide carpeted staircase, when I realized that I didn’t have any money. My mom didn’t give me allowance for the week (her salary for the month was late), and I didn’t have other sources of income.

I stood on the stairs, pondering on what source of action to take.

“You don’t have money,” I heard Ren say at the top of the stairs. “Just what I thought.” He paused. “Don’t be so obstinate, and let Mr. Black drive you off. I won’t sleep well tonight if you don’t accept.”

I stood still. AGHH. This was hurting my pride. And I had just left his room gallantly, too!

“I’ll haunt you tonight, and make sure you won’t sleep,” he added.

I still stood where I was.

“I won’t give you the black puppy you asked for,” he said finally.

OH NOOOO!! MY BLACK PUPPY! HE WOULDN’T!

I turned my head immediately, and caught a glimpse of his suppressed smile. “You wouldn’t!”

“Oh yes I would.” A glint of mischief sparkled in his eyes.

I slumped my shoulders in defeat. I had always bugged him about having a black retriever puppy. He finally agreed to it, albeit grudgingly, the one-thousandth time I asked him for it. He said he was going to give it to me on my birthday, which was approximately four months from now. I could wait. It wasn’t that long, but I ached to hold the little puppy in my arms, and shower it with my wholesome affection! I wanted to groom it, and dress it up, and do a nose-to-nose kiss with it, and--wait. Do you refer to a puppy as an ‘it’?

Ren guided me to where Mr. Black was waiting with the car.

“Thanks,” I said reluctantly.

“You’re very welcome,” he said merrily.

“You’re not going to use that trick on me again,” I promised him.

“Make sure of that,” he replied raptly.


-=-=-=-

>__< Aghh! My grandmother saw me typing up this story, and wants to read it!! She wants me to print it all out, and read it. How can I let my beloved grandmother read this story filled with curses, weird humor, eccentric behavior, and whatnot!? AGHHHH. I'll just hope she forgets about this soon. *shifty eyes*

Much ♥,
Tanya

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#16 ~book_worm~13

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Posted 26 December 2008 - 06:42 PM

I love the story!
But I don't like how.....smug....Ren always is. I mean, I know he's a good guy, but he's just so guarded or something.

Oh no! Your grandmother's innocence!!!
I'd write something else up about pony's and rainbows and give that to her!
haha.

I can't wait to read more! I WANT A BLACK PUPPY! I'd get three, they name them Hersey, Chocolate and Chip!
How cute would that be!

Can't wait for the udpate!

:krakrani: Yz

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#17 *LaLa giRrrL*

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Posted 26 December 2008 - 08:24 PM


I WANT A BLACK PUPPY! I'd get three, they name them Hersey, Chocolate and Chip!
How cute would that be!
:krakrani: Yz


SO CUTE! I asked for a puppy for christmas but no luck :( I wonder how mad my parents would be if i just came home with one! :D
Awwww Ren is getting her a puppy! It's like their child! hahaha
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#18 princessesrox123

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Posted 27 December 2008 - 05:05 PM

Luv it!!
your story is 2 cute. Though u should make Ren get a haircut. Anyways, it is seriously not what i expected when i started to read it and i cant w8 to c where u take the story next! Please please your new reader!!

-Nikki :icon_sunny:
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#19 cutejesse

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Posted 28 December 2008 - 09:56 AM

Yay! Another story from Tanya!! I LOVE IT SO MUCH.

I want Ren ~<3
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#20 cutejesse

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Posted 28 December 2008 - 10:08 AM

I love the story!
But I don't like how.....smug....Ren always is. I mean, I know he's a good guy, but he's just so guarded or something.

:krakrani: Yz


Yeah!! Maybe its because Ren doesn't want Kiri to know his true feelings *winkwink* Cause I mean, Kiri's so DENSE its crazy. Once she knows of his true feelings, she'd go weird! Dontcha think so?? O_O
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#21 puppy_lover

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Posted 28 December 2008 - 01:24 PM

Love your story, update soon
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#22 cutejesse

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Posted 28 December 2008 - 05:37 PM

I personally think Ren looks good with his hair like that :D

Or maybe its because I like men with long hair ;;)
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#23 melissa_fuller_trent

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Posted 28 December 2008 - 09:34 PM

oh my god HAHA, Hey Tan!

This is the new story you were talking about ;) Ren reminds me of someone.... lol :D


xx


Kaoru

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#24 cutejesse

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Posted 30 December 2008 - 08:47 PM

update please :(
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#25 *<Alenaire>*

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Posted 30 December 2008 - 09:29 PM

oh my god HAHA, Hey Tan!

This is the new story you were talking about ;) Ren reminds me of someone.... lol :D


xx


Kaoru


HAHAH hey Kao!! xD Ren reminds you of...PERHAPS IT IS VIJAY!!! IT IS, RIGHT!? Because of his smarts! Hahahaha. I dunno, was that in your mind? Because he is the most likely candidate.

I just realized that we joined MCBC on the same day--er rather, the people activated our accounts on the same day. (okay, random)

Oh, I'll tell you the details of my almost getting run over by a speeding car later. It was the scariest thing that ever happened in my entire life. I wouldn't be typing this right now if I had been run over! -___-" I would probably be in the hospital with serious injuries, or I would have died (and that's worse). *is very relieved*

Much ♥,
Tanya

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#26 *<Alenaire>*

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Posted 30 December 2008 - 11:28 PM

I arrived home at past eleven in the evening. I opened the door with my spare key, and went inside. My mom had probably retired to her room already. I opened the fridge, to look for leftovers. I wanted to know what they ate for dinner, and if they ate well. There was a plate of sausages left, and a bowl of vegetables. There was a box of milk opened, and I poured myself a glass. There were also apples and bananas in the fridge, and a few chocolate bars. I didn’t want to get the chocolate bars. I wanted my sister, Kim, to have it. It’s been a long time since I spoke to Kim. The only thing she exchanged with me, were loathing stares and cold glances. Ever since five years ago, she’s been acting strange around me. I think she’s mad at me, but I didn’t think I did anything wrong.

I trudged up the stairs, feeling exhausted. There had been an old geezer ogling me in the train, and I had felt uncomfortable; though I wanted to punch his lights out. I was beginning to gain strength from carrying my mother’s groceries since I was nine years old. But then, that wasn’t enough to gain stamina.

I passed by Kim’s door, and saw that the lights were still on. I peeked through the half-open door, and saw that she was asleep on her table. I went inside her room quietly to put a blanket over her shoulders. Though she hated any sympathy from me, and expressed her hatred for me profusely, it still didn’t change the fact that I still loved her as my little sister. The wonderful memories we shared when we were still kids could never be erased, and both her and mom were my family; and no one just abandons family like that. Both of them were the only family I knew. I didn’t know any relatives from either side of the family. My dad died when I was too young, and I hardly remembered anyone. My mom wasn’t on good terms with her family because they had disapproved of my mom’s marriage to my dad. They thought that dad wasn’t rich enough for them.

I spotted an opened letter on top of a shelf. I knew it was bad for me to be so curious, but I couldn’t help it. I took it carefully, and saw that the letter was addressed to me by a Joseph Guilford. I was half-shocked. I wasn’t shocked that I received another letter, but I was surprised why Kim would have a letter that was supposed to be for me.

I pulled out the letter inside, and began to read it. This Joseph person made it five years ago. I had a hunch, but I didn’t want to acknowledge it.

I read the letter.

Dear Kiri Elric,

I have seen you from afar, and have noticed how beautiful you are. I loved you the first time I laid eyes on you. I think you are the perfect woman for me. I look at no one else but you. Please marry me. I love you forever. Please reply to this letter. Thanks.


Love, Joseph Guilford

I wanted to laugh. This Joseph dude was way over the top. He wrote his letters like how a caveman would write them: large and squiggly. I think he was Kim’s classmate. Kim was two years my junior, so five years ago, I was twelve. Kim was ten. Joseph might have been eleven or so.

Joseph Guilford…why was his name so familiar? Joseph…Joseph…I thought hard, and then it hit me like a pack of elephants.

When Kim and I used to be so close, she constantly talked about Joseph. Joseph this, Joseph that, do you think Joseph liked my hair? I thought Joseph smiled at me today. Joseph is so nice, Joseph is so refreshing, Joseph is so hawt. Do you think Joseph liked me?

One bold elephant was stomping on my head continuously. The comprehension hit me like that. I looked at Kim's sleeping figure, terrified. I sucked in my cheeks. Kim liked Joseph! And Joseph wrote a love letter to me!

I just stood there with the letter in my hand, my face horror-stricken. Oh no oh no oh no. So that was what happened and how our relationship shattered to pieces! It was because of stupid Joseph’s fault. Why oh whyyy did he have to write that stupid friggin’ letter?! If I ever got my hands on that Joseph guy I was goin’ to—

Kim’s eyes suddenly opened. It startled me, and I gave an involuntary gasp. She turned her head towards me, and her eyes widened. She spotted the letter I was holding, and in one instant movement, stood up and grabbed the letter from my hand. Her shoulders moved up and down, and rage filled her face.

“Kim, I didn’t know—“ I started, but she cut me off.

“You!” she screamed at me. She shredded the letter with her hands. “I knew I should have thrown this damned letter away!”

“Look, about Joseph—“ she cut me off again.

“Okay, so you’re beautiful,” she said mockingly. “And you’re perfect. Smart, beautiful, friendly, fun, how could anyone not like you?”

“I’m not—“

“But I’m not you. I can’t even try to be you. You’re too perfect, it’s unbearable. I tried to be like you in front of Joseph. You are loud, funny and crazy, and I acted like you. But that didn’t earn me anything. If anything, it just earned me glares from people who actually knew you. They go on like, ‘she’s acting like her sister. What a wannabe’. I just wanted to make Joseph like me!” tears started to fall from her eyes. I didn’t have the strength left inside me to say anything at all. I was weak around family, and my being impervious couldn’t be applied to this situation. Her words stung me to the core.

She continued, “Maybe if I had your beauty, things would change. I don’t have your humor, nor your brain, or anything. But at least if I had your beauty, maybe people would look at me differently. They wouldn’t think lowly of me anymore!” she threw her book at me. It hit my face, but I didn’t move an inch. “Why do you have everything I desire?!” she went crazy, throwing her books around. “You have mother who loves you the most, you have boys looking at you, you have teachers praising you, and people admiring you; everyone likes you! Even when you’d commit a mistake, they’d still love you like nothing ever happened! Why, why can’t I have gotten at least one of your traits? I’m nothing, nothing compared to you!”

What the hell was she going on about? Didn’t she see herself in other people’s eyes? She was easily the most popular freshman in highschool. She was well-liked! I wanted to tell her that she shouldn’t compare others to herself, and that she had her own abilities and good points like me, but I was tongue-tied.

Kim turned a sour face towards me. “I bet you don’t even try as hard as I do.”

I flinched. That was not true. I always worked hard in everything I did, especially in studying. That’s how I got my straight A’s. Sleepless nights usually dawned before me. It irritated me that she thought that way. She had no idea what I was going through for her and my mother’s sake.

“I hate you,” she spat at me. I could feel my face burning, and my vision blurring. I was going to cry.

“What?” she laughed. “You goin’ ta cry?”

Her mockery evoked hot tears to run down my cheeks. I brushed them away hastily with the back of my hand; now Kim would think of me in a more hateful light.

“I hate you, I hate you, I hate, hate, hate you,” she sang aloud. “I don’t have to hide it anymore!” she was gleeful.

I felt my heart breaking. It was so painful that I couldn’t take it anymore. I turned around to leave her room when I saw my mom standing in the doorway. She stared at both of us with a stern expression. She was in her nightgown.

“Kim, I’m disappointed in you,” mom said sadly.

“What!?” Kim screeched. “What the hell! All I did was say all the things that I’ve kept inside for five years! What the hell is wrong with that!?”

Mom shook her head. “I would have thought you to handle the situation better, Kim. Kiri is your older sister, and you should give her respect.”

“Hmph,” Kim answered.

“I’m cutting off your allowance for two weeks,” mom said. Kim almost fell off her feet. She screamed, “What!?”

Mom’s voice was louder this time. “You heard me! Apologize to your sister right now.”

“See?” Kim said. “Everyone is siding with her. Why are you pushing me away?”

I finally had the guts to say something. With mom’s presence, it was clear that Kim would be quiet and listen. “Kim, it wasn’t my fault that Joseph liked me. It was his choice to like me, not mine. So what if I was beautiful? And everything else you seem to think you’re not. I’ve known you since you were a kid, and as I recall, you’re very good at singing. You’ve got a wonderful voice.”

I sang, and even hearing my own voice hurt my head. I was tone-deaf. Kim almost laughed, but caught herself just in time. “You’re also good at Science. You’ve always helped me with that subject. It doesn’t matter if I’m better at a lot of things than you. What matters is that you try your best at things you’re good at. It’s funny that you think I don’t try hard.”

I smiled bitterly. “I’ve always tried my best in everything I did, though you might not see it. Even though you might not notice it, I’ve always been considerate towards you despite your cruel behavior. Don’t I always buy you the things you want during Christmas or your birthday? Or I would leave you my favorite part of a chicken. These little acts you fail to notice, and all you notice is your hate towards me.”

I smiled despondently. “I don’t think you’re rational in your hatred. There are a lot of guys out there that would kill to be with you, and maybe you’ve just overlooked that.” I was suddenly overtaken by anger. It took long enough. “Why don’t you just get on with life!? Can’t you forget about damn Joseph, and move on? Stop blaming everything on others, and have pride in yourself!” Before I could do anything brash, I walked briskly towards my room, and slammed my door shut. My chest was heaving, and I felt ashamed of my actions—though I had no reason to.

I didn’t even take off my uniform. I merely kicked off my shoes, and buried myself in bed.
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#27 princess_precious

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Posted 31 December 2008 - 12:45 AM

whoa....new reader in here :mgwave:

i love this story!!!!

i love the name 'renaldo'

though i don't like guys with long hairs.

chop 'em off soon, please??

aji :D
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#28 nomi

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Posted 31 December 2008 - 01:01 AM

*New Reader Alert*

Hi, I'm nomi! I have to tell you that you have such amazing, dynamic characters whose interactions with each other are simply stunning. Even the minor character seem to be fleshed out. It's so much fun to read and the descriptions are really crisp and vivid! Everyone's name is so original and I adore Kiri and Ren's hilarious banter. :heartbeat:

The last update was really heart-breaking and realistic. I hope you'll keep up this incredible, striking story!

♥nomi

P.S. Random question: Why didn't their dad leave them much money when he died?
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#29 cutejesse

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Posted 31 December 2008 - 04:01 AM

Awww! That update was so sad! I could literally feel the tension in it. T_T

Kim should realize all the good things that Kiri has done for her.

Lovely update!! Update sooonnnn
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#30 Dreamy_Girl

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Posted 31 December 2008 - 06:54 AM

Thats good. Very funny!
Head and shoulders guy!!

Dreamy xx
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#31 *<Alenaire>*

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Posted 31 December 2008 - 07:54 AM

*huggles all readers* :D

*New Reader Alert*

Hi, I'm nomi! I have to tell you that you have such amazing, dynamic characters whose interactions with each other are simply stunning. Even the minor character seem to be fleshed out. It's so much fun to read and the descriptions are really crisp and vivid! Everyone's name is so original and I adore Kiri and Ren's hilarious banter. :heartbeat:

The last update was really heart-breaking and realistic. I hope you'll keep up this incredible, striking story!

♥nomi

P.S. Random question: Why didn't their dad leave them much money when he died?


Hi Nomi! *waves* I have to admit that that's the best compliment I've ever received in the 3 years I've been writing in the WF. You just made my day!!! *glomps nomi* :D

Oh, and to answer your random question: I didn't include this in the plot of the story cause I felt that I didn't need to burden Kiri anymore 'cause she's going to have a lot of drama in the future, lol (and she doesn't remember her father well since he died when she was only 5). Well, her father was a drunkard, and a big-time gambler. He used most of the money he earned from being councilor for gambling. >__< But Kiri's mom didn't tell her about it. That's why she's working so hard :)


Much ♥,
Tanya

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#32 cutejesse

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Posted 31 December 2008 - 08:56 PM

*huggles all readers* :D



Hi Nomi! *waves* I have to admit that that's the best compliment I've ever received in the 3 years I've been writing in the WF. You just made my day!!! *glomps nomi* :D

Oh, and to answer your random question: I didn't include this in the plot of the story cause I felt that I didn't need to burden Kiri anymore 'cause she's going to have a lot of drama in the future, lol (and she doesn't remember her father well since he died when she was only 5). Well, her father was a drunkard, and a big-time gambler. He used most of the money he earned from being councilor for gambling. >__< But Kiri's mom didn't tell her about it. That's why she's working so hard :)


Much ♥,
Tanya


What, really? Thats the best compliment you've received?? O_O That's weird...and you've been in the WF for 3 years already! And awww about Kiri's father. So sad...
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#33 nomi

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Posted 31 December 2008 - 09:44 PM

Hi Tanya! *glomps back*

Really? :o WOW!! That might be the best compliment I've ever gotten! :P

I'm so glad you liked it! It is the honest truth. I would never sugarcoat it, no matter how good sugar is. (And it is very very good). :D

Thanks for the clarification! Uh oh...Kiri's going to be in a lot of trouble then. :)

Take your time updating! Just not too long. Because then you kind of lose the swing of things. ;)

♥nomi
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#34 princess_precious

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Posted 01 January 2009 - 01:24 AM

update !!!!!

*taps fingers on the board impatiently*

please?!

aji :D
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#35 *~^Elena^~*

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Posted 01 January 2009 - 01:29 AM

whee! tanya!
I like this story alot! :heartbeat:
reminds me of somethings... :lol:

hehe keep it up!!!

xoxo
PAM

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#36 princess_precious

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Posted 01 January 2009 - 01:40 AM

oooh

you are online, tanya

did you bring me an update???
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#37 *<Alenaire>*

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Posted 01 January 2009 - 03:14 AM

lol! xD

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

And because its new year, I'm gonna post an update after my grandma stops using the laptop, lol. I'll make it really looooooooong.

Much ♥,
Tanya

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#38 *~^Elena^~*

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Posted 01 January 2009 - 03:34 AM

whee! an update to come... what a cool way to start my year...

happy new year!
I can't believe my clock was 9 minutes behind! I was pretty late on the yelling but oh well...
:D

Go Tanya go!
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#39 crazee_top

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Posted 01 January 2009 - 06:27 AM

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

This is awesome.

Wait I forgot to say ... **new reader**

back to what i was saying...

I love how the prolouge is so different to the story. I (also) thought of Twilight, how they are so pretty and perfect. I feel sorry for Kim. I felt so sad when she saw the letter. I guessed it was about a boy, but i thought she would of liked Ren.

When every i think of the name 'ren' i think of "Ren and Stimpy"... Best TV show ever...

Wow, what a Random peice of information...

Update!!!

Lurvvvvvve ya,
Jamie xx
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#40 *<Alenaire>*

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Posted 01 January 2009 - 06:59 AM

I suddenly felt timid the next day. I didn’t want to see Kim face to face. It was too embarrassing, after my lecture. I prepared for school, and then went down to toast myself a piece of bread. Kim was there, eating cereal. This was an unusual sight because she hardly ever went down during breakfast. I froze on the stairs. Then I asked myself, ‘what was I afraid of?’. My sister, was my answer.

I went around the counter to get bread. I looked at Kim through the corner of my eyes. Everytime she placed her spoon down, I would flinch. Finally, I toasted my bread and grabbed my bag. I was about to leave when Kim’s voice stopped me.

I turned around to look. I didn’t want to say anything for fear that I heard wrong. I guess I did because she didn’t say anything else. She just sat there quietly, eating her cereal.

I was depressed, and even Ren commented on it when we were in the car. He said I looked my age now, which was fifty. I didn’t even have the ounce of strength to retort back, and this worried him.

Even I was quiet during our morning assembly. My friends Mimi, Cherry and Lolly were struck dumb. There was no reason why I, the Queen of Noise, would be suddenly quiet. Even the principal looked pleased while he said the morning announcements. I was half-expecting him to take back the detention sentence.

In the classroom, they began questioning my unobtrusiveness. It was a rare sight, if anything, and it piqued their curiosity.

And then I began wailing. I wailed while the teacher wasn’t around, and it probably drove more than half of my classmates mad. They didn’t say anything about it, however. They had always tolerated me and my pandemonium. There was no reason for them to disapprove of it now. But even the class president, Cornelia seemed cheesed off.

It was lunch, and we were in the usual formation inside the classroom. I sat on my desk with my feet propped on my seat. Mimi, Cherry and Lolly had taken desks, and sat on them, forming a line in front of me. Ren had taken a chair, and sat beside my leg. He was sitting on the chair backwards.

I wailed some more.

“How can we get her to shut up?” Cherry asked. Her strawberry blonde hair was curled today, and her big hazel eyes looked at me with impatience.

Ren poked my knee. “Stop howling, Kiri. The moon isn’t up yet.”

They laughed, but I continued to wail.

“You didn’t tell us what happened to you, yet,” Mimi said, sucking fervently on a lollipop. She had a pixie-cut now, and she looked better with it. I envied her golden tan, and the way her lips were naturally pouty. “What’s happened to you?”

“Love,” Lolly started. She was investigating what was under her nails. She was a foxy-mama. That’s what I called her. A foxy-mama. Everything about her was alluring, and she had what I called ‘seductive eyes’. “Can you just tell us now? ‘Cause your wailing is maddening.”

I stopped wailing. They looked relieved. I told them all about what happened at home, and they listened to me, engrossed by my tale. They couldn’t believe that Kim was like that. I mean, Kim was well known now for being polite and respectful. She was the captain of the basketball, soccer, and volleyball team. Even some people thought that she made her sister proud. I guess they dismissed the fact that she used to act like me.

Kim was quite popular in highschool, and it was true that there were many boys vying for her attention. She was seen as good-natured, and pretty. She had my mother’s hair, which was the color of copper, and big hazel eyes with flecks of green. Her nose was elegant and sharp, and I liked how her hair curled naturally. Thinking about her made me feel miserable again, and my friends noticed it.

“I say,” Mimi said, taking out the lollipop from her mouth, “give her time to digest everything you told her.”

Ren nodded his head. “I think she’s been contemplating.”

“God.” Lolly pulled a face. “What a b*tch.” Then she looked at me quickly, as if I would reprimand her. “Um, you know. She acted all b*tchy…not like she actually is one, you know.”

But Cherry agreed with Lolly. “Yeah, I know what you mean Lol. How could she do that to her sister? Kiri actually sacrifices a lot for her, and she’s too blinded by hatred to see it.”

“I doubt that Joseph dude was even worth it, if you judged him by his handwriting alone,” I said. I imitated a caveman writing on the ground, with my face contorted in serious concentration. They laughed, but Ren guffawed. He always laughed crazily at my jokes like that. It was somehow comforting.

Lolly shook her head. “I can’t believe it. That bi—um—er, Kim, had the guts to do that to you. I can’t imagine anyone doing that to you.”

Ren was tapping his fingers against the back of his chair. “Kiri’s just too nice when it comes to family. I wish she was like that to us too.”

I stuck my tongue out at him. “Whatev.”

“Ugh!” Cherry groaned. “I’m so mad at her!”

Mimi nodded her head, the stick of the lollipop protruding from her mouth.

“Calm down,” I said pleasantly. I was touched by their sympathy. “I guess I’ll just give her time. I hope we talk again, though. It’s been five years of evasion. I can’t let this opportunity come to pass! There must be progress now!” I banged my fist against my table to illustrate my determination. I was glad that my spark was back. I hated being gloomy.

----

Ren and I were in detention, yet again. I was chewing on the lollipop Mimi gave me.

“Hellooooo!” someone banged open the door. It startled me. I fell off the chair I was balancing on. Ren laughed at me, but helped me to stand up. I chewed on the remaining candy in my mouth.

“Hello, hello, my dear friends!” it was a voice I knew, and a voice I was fond of.

“Sorry to startle,” Jed said. Was it my imagination, or was he getting taller and taller? He looked like the president that he was. His uniform was perfectly clean and tidy, and he was wearing the student council vest, with the logo of Laurente Academy on the front. His blonde hair was parted in the middle, though. It made him looked dorky. I wanted to laugh.

“Detention?” Phil asked. He was behind Jed, and he had his hands in his pockets. Phil was almost as tall as Jed, and they remained as the Twin Towers for me. He had light brown hair, blue-green eyes, and a silly grin that always made me laugh. He was nearsighted, and couldn’t see without his glasses. I tried putting them on once, and by my black puppy, it almost blinded me!

“Yep,” Ren said. “And it’s her fault.”

Phil laughed. “What’s wrong now?”

“There was a bee,” I said, emphasizing on the ‘bee’. “It was all the bee’s fault!”

“Now, now, Kiri,” Jed said, acting like the mediator, “Don’t go and press the blame on animals.”

I pouted.

Jed smiled, and patted my head like I was a little girl. “Aw, you’re so adorable.” I acted like I was going to bite his hand, and he pulled it away, laughing.

“Careful Jed,” Ren told him, “She’s a dangerous animal herself.”

I growled at Ren.

“The reason why we’re here,” Phil said, “Is because we have come up with a marvellous idea for the school festival!”

“Let’s sit down first,” Jed suggested. We took a seat, and formed a circle.

“This time,” Jed continued, “We’re going to have a fashion show.”

“But guess what?” Phil said. The grin on his face was impeccable.

“I don’t know,” I answered his question.

“Both of you are the only models on the catwalk!” Jed said.

I almost fell off my chair in surprise.

“WHAATT?!” both Ren and I exclaimed in horror.

Model, me? That was IMPOSSIBLE.

Phil leaned back against his chair, looking pleased. “Now we’ll please both genders. Kiri, whose beauty has captivated even the most callous of men, and Ren, whose knightly looks earn him a place in each maiden’s heart!” he was so into it. I was still appalled.

“You sound like my brother when he writes stories, Phil,” Ren said.

“Is that supposed to be an insult?” Phil inquired. But he looked pleased at being compared to a famous contemporary writer.

“That’s one of the main events of the school festival.” Jed propped his elbows on his knees, and clasped his hands. “We’re going to have lots of screaming fans at this time, so it would be a good distraction. While you guys are having your fashion show, we’re going to prepare fireworks. And once both of you have slipped on your last outfit, the fireworks are going to start. It’s a nice way of ending the school festival.”

I looked at him, my mouth hanging open. “Impossible! You can’t let us do this!”

“Why not?” Phil looked at me with a forlorn expression.

Ren looked at me. “I think this is actually a great idea.” The traitor!

My mouth hung open the more. “AH!”

“Oh, c’mon Kir,” Jed pleaded. “This is for the benefit of the whole school.”

They were ganging up on me, and all I could do was protest in fury.

Ren took my hand, and kissed the top of it. He looked at me my eyes with a straightforward expression. “Or else I won’t give you that black puppy you crave for.” He broke into a wide mischievous grin.

“Agh!” I jumped, and he pulled his hand away. How dare he use it on me!

Ren winked at Jed. “I think this would persuade her.”

I looked at both of my hands. I didn’t like dressing up, or being in front of a crowd, or anything. But I had to do it because I really really really wanted to have that adorable black puppy!

I stood up with determination. “I’ll do it!”

“Great!” Jed exclaimed, clapping his hands at Ren’s tactic. “I’ll tell you all the details later on, but we have a meeting with the faculty right now. The school festival is in a month, but we have to prepare as soon as we can!”

Phil and Jed stood up to go.

“Thanks, Kir,” Phil said to me, wearing that silly grin on his face again.

“What are friends for, eh?” I said, smiling ruefully.
-=-=-


Whooot! xD Welcome Pam and Jamie! *huggles both*

lol, Ren and Stimpy. I didn't know why, but I was scared and enthralled by that cartoon when I was a little kid. I think it's because Ren looks...O_o But the stuff they talked about kept me glued to the screen ha ha

Much ♥,
Tanya

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#41 crazee_top

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Posted 01 January 2009 - 07:55 AM

**Huggles back**

Im glad you no what ren and stimpy is. i thought after i posted that you probably wouldnt and you would look (figurativly) at me like i was a mad women!

Ren does look weird. My stepdad has a figurine of each in his collectable thingy collection and its right by my door... freakkkkky.

Loved that!!

I feel very sorry for her!!

Lurvvvvvvve ya,
Jamie xx
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#42 Dreamy_Girl

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Posted 01 January 2009 - 10:38 AM

Wow!
I kinda feel sorry for her but excited.
This is so funny.


xx
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#43 cutejesse

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Posted 01 January 2009 - 04:50 PM

Woah, I just LOVE Jed and Phil!!! I really want to have friends like them!!!!! *sobs*
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#44 cutejesse

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Posted 01 January 2009 - 05:26 PM

Okay. Kiri has the greatest friends!! They're so fun, and nice, and supportive!! Waaa T_T I want friends like those...
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#45 x--JinxedAngel

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Posted 01 January 2009 - 06:07 PM

Hi Tanya, new reader!!
I LOVE THIS SO MUCH. I just clicked on your profile and read abit of your story, and with a few sentences you had me hooked.
EEEEEEEEH. I love your writing, you have a gift girl! x]

Okay, Kiri is so lucky to nearly have everything. And Ren is totally cool as well.

Phil leaned back against his chair, looking pleased. “Now we’ll please both genders. Kiri, whose beauty has captivated even the most callous of men, and Ren, whose knightly looks earn him a place in each maiden’s heart!” he was so into it. I was still appalled.


That bit was so cool.
Happy new year, and good luck writing!

-Amy

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